Friday, September 26, 2008

The brains of our body

So here is what i wanted to share. Never doubt the power of your body. Since I have moved up to Greeley I will admit I feel like I have not stopped going and going and going, I am the freakin Energizer Bunny of college. So Anyway I updated you on the what I have to dos on my last blog. well aparently my body is tired. I have to admit even with monday being my "down day" I still always have so much todo it barely counts. So about three days ago my body had had enough and decided to attack me with a cold. This cold took away my voice and my ability to want to go go go. However I had to so I did. Well the body wants me to stop so it says "Kick it up a notch" and yesterday I went to work where I was allowed to work for about an hour before my boss sent me home demanding I get my night shift covered and NOT come back until I at least had a voice. So my body won and I spent yesterday sleeping on my couch and thanks to Katy and Devon was force fed Soup and Juice. Thanks guys. So today I wake up and I still have no voice but I refused to waste my grandads tution money and made myself go to class and sit here listening to my professor. I have to sleep after my classes. So I wanted to throw it out there and say never ever ever underestamate your body. It will win eventually.

Monday, September 22, 2008

Alot better

So let me start with saying Im sorry for the mental breakdown I guess it neeeded to happen but I feel MUCHHHHH better. So anyway since that whole ordeal I have been Busy Busy Sissy!!! I started my new job at Red Lobster and I do love it. Due to my great people skills, and quick learning I was advanced to on my own serving by Tuesday. So on Tuesday I ventured out to the floor on my own and did really well, Thursday brought a double as did friday as did saturday and you guessed it as did Sunday. I wont complain though the one week I worked brought me roughly $500. So GO ME!!! The very sad point of this is because I am good at serving my boss wants me on her staff and hers only she wants me every night I can and the afternoons I can. After serious debate I put my two weeks notice in at Chilis. This is so hard for me and I know it will be so hard for me to continue to do for the next couple months but Brinker/ Chilis offered me my first real home in a job and I thank them for that but I have to do what I have to do to get the bills paid. So after St. Jude ends on the 1st as does my Chilis Career. Very sad sad day... So I turned in my new avalibility to the lobster and I now will be working Tuesday 11-3 Wednesday about 5- cut Thursday all day (with the break in between for my thurday class Friday nights Saturday all day, and Sunday all day WHEW!!! Also strating for me is my student teaching. My EDU class introduced our class to the big world of teaching early. So on Sunday after I got off work I drove up to Bailey to do my first day. I was with the kids of Joh's 2nd grade class from 9 AM to 3:30 PM and I have to admit after I did that I remembered why I set my goals to a HS teacher. =) So now I have decided to spend one last night in Bailey with my family before I head home sweet home tommorrow morning to you guessed it... work and then go to class at 4:30 and then do some homework until ten and then probably die on my couch to get up on wednesday and do it all over. Why is it I find myself the happiest when I have no time to stop going? I dont know myabe it is just the taste of home I need to keep me happy. love to all
J
oh yeah and before you all flip I do take mondays off of everything but school to do homework chill and of course tune into One Tree Hill.

Monday, September 15, 2008

Having a really hard time

So i ahve to admit the last couple weeks have ben so hard for me and before anyone jumps on the gun no I am not here for a pitty party but i need to vent and this is my blog so if you dont want to hear me complain a little change blogs. Soryy but I have had a really hard time with it all. I have been feeling so left out. I have my friends and all but I started school and I work two jobs and when I am home I am so tired I cant do anything. What I would not give to see my mom at home talking to me while I do my homwork or have anyone here/awake when I get hom from school. I then find out that my brother is doing incredible. he is working two jobs pulling strait A's and kicking butt at Ty Kwan Do my mom tells me this all I figure okay he sounds busy its cool he hasnt told me anything but when I go to brag a little to Kat bout it she tells me she alrady knows h textd her to tell her. I know it sounds dumb but I realllllly cant explain how much I realllllllly miss sean. He is my brother and I love him so much and i didnt understand why he could pick up his phone to tell Kat but couldnt do the same to me. I find out he had someone at work tell him something vry hurtful but instead of telling me or asking my help he txt Kat to get help call me insane but I feel so replaced, i feel like because Kat got to spend some extra time with my family they are closer to her. I know I know it sounds dumb but again I need to vent and I wont do it on Nick anymore, he dosnt dserve it and he at this point does not know how to help.
I heard from my mom for the first time in ages today and not because she wanted to talk or missed me but because I dented her car a little and called to confess it to her. I keep up with my family via her blog and she doesnt keep that up much anymore. And I went on today and found out that my WHOLE family was a mere ten exits down I25 from me and had a family night but didnt even call me to see what I was doing and if I could make it. I feel so lft out like just because I dont live there anymore I dont get to be in the family anymore.
i guess I have had a bad week and it is only monday. I missed a meeting at Chilis and got written up, I fell in my bathroom and hit my eye and now have a beautiful black eye. I missed my alam this morning and slpt through class and I have like a zillion bills due like tomorrow. I may just be venting but I needed it.
Thnaks Jacquie

Thursday, September 4, 2008

Honoring an amazing women in school

Hi I know this is gonna sound dumb but I wrote a paper in school and I thought it was really good and figured I havent posted in a while so here you go:

My Inspiration, my Hero, my Mom
When referring to a hero or a role-model what would be the first thing to come to mind? Smart, funny, brave, sweet, caring the list could go on; however what do you call a person who is so much more then all of those words? A person that through thick and thin has been there, a person who no matter what you go through they have your back and when you look into the history or their past you think, “Wow, they are incredible.” I call that an influence. For me through my whole life, as I grew up and grew into an adult, that person was my mom.
When my mom was eighteen years old she fell in love, not with just a man; a man that her parents despised, my father. She swore she loved him till death do them part and choose him as the love of her life. Her father was furious, he kicked her out and she in return got married. You may be thinking this started a beautiful story of love and kindness; you would be wrong. When she was twenty-one she had me; blushing beautiful bouncing Jacqueline, me. Then at Twenty-three she had my brother, Sean and we were a family. The first time I can clearly remember Sean was not even a year, they were fighting and fighting bad Sean was screaming so I went to him three year old me then I saw something that even at three I will never forget; he raised his hand and slapped her so hard and then walked away. That was the first time I can remember. It continued for years and years my mother later told me that many, many nights she lay awake thinking of killing herself just to escape it all. In the end she decided she could never do that to Sean or me and so she never did. When I was eight my parents got divorced; my mom doing it with her best friend at her side. For escaping it all in one piece and finally becoming free she became my idol. Then the after math of the divorce came.
My mom got full custody of myself and my brother, she was a single mom and she was determined to do it on her own. My Grandad offered to give her money she refused as she always did from anyone she was a determined women and no one was going to help her. So she bounced from job to job to job working both as a waitress at Lonestar but also at Ruby Tuesdays and then at a car dealership, a bank and eventually she got into what she really loved; but that is another part of the story. She made ends meet and even moved out of the bedroom her and my father shared. When I was nine I was in third grade at Colorow Elementary and Sean was in kindergarten in the same school. At this time my mom’s best friend had moved in with us and protected us and loved us all to bits and pieces. My mom was working as a bank teller at 1st National in the Cub foods right down the road and one day her world came tumbling in. The news was going crazy and the police were to. To understand why you would have to know where Colorow Elementary was, it was about a block away from Columbine High School and my mom decided that day that we were moving out of Littleton to a little town in the mountains where my brother and I could be safe. That is exactly what she did too. She packed us up and moved us to a beautiful house in Bailey, CO. Her best friend now her boyfriend moved up with us. Before long her boyfriend became Sean and mines Dad we never had. Sean and I had peace. We lived in this amazing town where we were safe and we had a Daddy that loved our mom and loved us and cared about taking care of us all. We were on cloud nine and we stayed there except for every other weekend when we had to go and see our father. Those weekends started becoming harder and the first time he laid a hand on me I said nothing the first time he did it to Sean I was irate. My mom stepped in and we began not only intense therapy but also the process for my father to any rights to Sean and me. A year later and still nothing had happened so with me and Sean in mind she told us it was in our hands we had to decide how to handle him. I at the time hated my mom and Dad for telling us that; it was like they were giving up on us. Another year went by and nothing happened. Then the day happened, July 30, 2006; he and I got into a fight and he hit me and hit me hard, this time I thought of my mothers strength and I stormed out of his home and I have not seen him since, neither has Sean.
After that day my mom and I have never been closer. She is my best friend and on September 27th of 2006 when my high school was attacked by a gunmen my mom told me she wondered if that day her life would end as all three of her children where in the building and in the school. Thankfully it didn’t and she was there for me, along with many others, to help my brothers and I rebuild our lives and our faith in people. She has always been my very best friend. There when I need her and sometimes there when I thought I didn’t need her. She is there like that for so many people as well. When our friend told us her three year old had Leukemia her and I teamed up to create “Alliance for Ayden.” Together we raised almost five thousand dollars for Ayden and his mom, through bake sales and bracelet sales and walks we made a big difference. She inspired me to do good for them. Grandma got diagnosed with Stage four Lung cancer in December of 2007 and just like that my mom trusted me enough to hand me the “rains” of the Mueller household and move down to my grandma’s home where she spent the next two months making her better. The doctors gave her eight weeks; my mom gave her the rest of her life.
Though everything my mom and I have been through she has always taught me that a good person is not born that way but developed to be so. Maybe this is not what my professor had in mind when he said to tell him about a person who has influenced my life but to get her you have to hear her story. She is my inspiration, she has taught me to be everything I am proud to say I am today. She taught me how to be a person that I am proud to be and taught me how to care. She taught me how to be strong and stand up for myself. Most of all, my mom taught me that to be who I am is good enough for her and anyone else is blind to the person I am. I am such a different person because of everything she taught me and everything I do, say and am today is because of the guidance I received from her and the inspiration that is my mom. “You can either take something bad in your life and let it run you into the ground and make you resentful for the life you have been dealt; or you can take that experience and let it make you a better person because of it.” Thanks mom, I choose a better person because of it.