AHHH had to share!

I got a postcard yesterday in the mail and I got an academic award! I am so excited! I don't know what it is in but it is an academic award so WHO CARES!!! lol! The days are so sad because I AM SICK!!! I hate being sick pretty much worse then ANYTHING in the world but its okay my voice is coming back and my throat doesnt hurt so it will all be all right lol... I am at school So I cant type long but I was so excited I had to share now!!! YEAH! I'll be sure to update what it was in! For now lets hope it's not choir...lol! =)

Senior prom OMGsh!

So on Friday all of my hard work and planning came into action when I woke up and began saying YEAH YEAH YEAH!!! It is Finally here! It was prom night and I was so excited! At 11 Kat and I jumped into the minnie mobile and headed toward the Crystal Rose which is where prom was held. We decided that we didn't want to pay the driver of limo to drive us all night long so mom (after much diliberation) allowed us to take minnie to the rose so after the dance portion of prom was over we could take minnie to after prom. (thank you mom it saved ALOT of money!) Anyway Kat and I drove to the gas station first and emptied, vacumed and then carwashed minnie. After all the cleaning was complete we drove to the Crystal Rose and met nick for the ride back up. We stopped at Safeway were the flower lady gave me the weirdest look when I said that i didnt want to see mine and that she must not show me! She laughed but finally agreed. We then went home to get ready! Kat and i took like 2 and a half hours to get ready. We loved the look that we got when nick and Zac saw us! I got a beautiful corage with three roses and babies breathe. I thought it was fantastic. We drove to the Cuthroat where we had to show off for Kats boss, then to Loaf n jug for her mommy and then to the Chilis parking lot to show off for my 2nd family and meet the limo. We met Brooke there and mom showed up for more pictures! (i'm sure mom will put a bunch up as I havent even seen them all) The limo driver, ernie, took us to The macaroni Grill for dinner and to Kats suprise an amazing dessert. Where she was was shocked at how much she enjoyed the chocolate cake. Then we pilled back into the Limo but we were running like an hour ahead of schedule so Ernie Drove us all around town doing what we called "making us feel important" We arrived right on time danced the night away and had an amazing time. then Kat, me, nick and Zac loaded into the minnie and headed to the Ridge for Afterprom. We had a blast. At 4:30 we all pilled into Minnie and headed home. We slept and slept and then had a great weekend. Well for now that is it.

Loves,

J

Rockin all night long...For Ayden

I meant to write sooner to talk about my Friday nightbecause it was SO much fun! Mom left on Thursday so I was deemed Women of ht e house. I worked Thursday night but came home to my family kissed Joh on the head and told the boys to go to sleep. Friday morning I woke up and got dressed and went upsatirs to see a fully awake Joh. I packed his lunch kissed him on his head and ran out the door to school. I got home from musical finished my book and then got into my "hug Life" tshirt to go to the concert for Ayden. We saw Vices I Admire and the Photo Atlas. They are Warp tour bands! We raised over $200 for Ayden with the shirts and then we danced all night long, Em and I met the band and they signed my shirt. We had so much fun! Jammin the night away! It was amazin to see Em smile the way she smiled! It was amazing! I wish Ayden could have been there! Saturday Kat hung out and and then we watched a movie and that was fun. Um pretty much boring the rest of the weekend but here are some pictures from the concert...

I'll never forget

So I am having a weird feeling day today, one of those days where my mind just keeps wandering and I can't think about things for too long or I will eather cry or laugh REALLY hard. I began thinking at work today, (because we were SO dead) about the things I will never forget ever.
I will never forget the day my mom met my Daddy, (no not my Birth father my daddy) I will never forget the day my mom told me she was pregnant and at the same rate the day she told me it was ANOUTHER boy. I will never forget the Christmas morning that mom asked me to be her maid of honor because I was her best Friend. I will NEVER forget the day Joh was born. I will never forget the look on everyones face when Sean showed the haircut I gave his the day before christmas. I will never forget meeting Nick and the day I relized I was in love with him. I will never forget the pain I felt watching him leave for college and the Joy I cannot expain when he finally came back. I will never forget the day he gave me my promise ring and asked me to be his forever. The look on his face, what the ring was in, where I was at the exact moment and what he was wearing on that day. I will never forget my first day at Anthony's and at the same rate I will never forget the day they gave me my promotion to assistant Manager. I will never forget the day I dressed up as Pebbles for the Grand opening and Begged Erik to dress up as my Bam Bam. (which he eventually did a little he wore a shirt) I will never forget the day I met Erik and we became Friends. I will never forget the last time I saw him before he went into the Air force. I will never forget Quiting Anthonys and my last day there. I will never forget when I met my second family and began creating friendships I will also never forget at my Job at Chilis. I will never forget my first day and the imidate Click I had with Roberto (lol love you Rob) I will never forget the French Fry War one very dead night at work. The first time my boss told me how Happy she was to have me and the first time I was asked to train for them. I will never forget the Disney world trip with my WHOLE family. I will never forget the day Brooke and I won our first BOE and the next one eather. I will never forget being given a scholarship. I will never forget The excitment of my first day of my Senior year and the sadness I felt at my last homecoming. Decorating the Suberban for hours so it looked perfect. I will never forget the day the doctor told grandma she was in Remission. And the day the doctor said the same about Ayden. I will never forget the Bake sale for Ayden and the kindness that filled Baileys hearts. I will never forget when someone handed my $300 for a plate of cookies and siad keep the change. or when anouther person got a plate of cookies and handed mom $500. I will never foget handing Ali that money. I will never forget any of it!
If this seems repetitive please know his has a point I swear. Although I will never forget any of that amazing stuff I also relized today life is not meant to be easy and for that reason....
I will never forget the night I saw my mom crying on the swingset in the backyard at the Littleton house after my father had beaten the hell out of her. I will never forget the look on Seans face when he crawled into bed with me at night because they were fighting agian. I will never forget hiding with mommy and daddy and sean for days after our father was served the divorce papers. I will never forget the day that my father turned his anger on me. I will never forget the cops and the papers and the confusion. I will never forget the look on his face the last time he saw me. I will never forget the look on Moms face the day she picked me and Sean up at Colorow Elm. The day of the Columbine Shooting. Most of all I will never forget the exact words said over the loud speaker the day m life turned upside down. I will never forget the people that were pushing intoa corner with me in the dark, or the look on my teachers face when Sherrif Wagner came in to get us out. I will never forget the snipers watching down the hallway while we ran down the stairs and into the wide open with our hands on our heads. I will never forget the feelings I felt when I found Josh and couldnt find Sean. I will never forget the thought going through my head what if I die today? I will never forget the anger I felt pulling up to a school full of reporters and just wanting to break their cameras. I will never forget the hatred I felt for my father that he dared to show up here. I will never forget the look on my mom and daddys fcae when they had all of there children at home safe. I will never forget when I found out it was Emily. I will never forget when they pronouced her passed. I will never forget how tight I held onto Nick when I saw him the next day. I will never forget the memorail. I will never foret the hurt in Nicks eyes and the pain he felt as we cryed together. I will never forget 9-27. I will never forgget the day mom got the Email from Emmy telling us that Ayden had Lukemia. I will never forget the night I came home from a speech meet to find out Grandma had Lung cancer. I will never forget the day we took what we thought would be our last family photo and the day I thought my grandma would never see me graduate. I will never forget any of it!
I guess the moral to this entry is Life is not meant to be easy. It is not meant to be fair. If it was people would win the lottery daily and never loose money in bets. People would never feel pain and never hurt. People would never say they had fallen on hard times. Life is what it is, take it for what it is and remember that the good things and the bad things in life are what make us the people we grow to be. I will never forget anything I wrote about tonight and I am NOT looking for pitty or sorries or anything of that sort I am looking for people to open their eyes and love what they have the good and the bad. A very wise women (you know who you are) has told me forever, "You can take the bad things in life and let them haunt you and keep them as bad or you can take them learn from them and become a better person because of them." I choose the second. I am living and with that I am learning... always.
Much love,
Jacquie

HOLA!!!

I thought I would come back on and post anouther blog for a few reasons, A) to out do mom haha you are so loosing at this posting game B) to say YES it has only been two days since I wrote and C) to get back into the habit of writting more often. Monday was a monday I wanted to sleep I have been so tired latly. I went to school and then by 1st period I was throwing up. then agian right before 2nd and so after choir I decided to sign myself out of 3rd period and go home to sleep maybe then I would feel better. So I sign out and go out to my car. However I am supposedly not allowed to leave because my car decides "Hey I'm not gonna go into gear." So after a zillion tries I get angry, call mom and tell her to come and get me, the car is broken...Agian. So she comes down and looks at it and it is decided that the linking in my stick is broke and it is stuck. Mom calls Todd blah blah blah a few hours later we go to meet him at the school. It is then desided the car is stuck in 4th gear and the linking is broken. We get a couple of teachers mom and Todd as I hold in the klutch and push it out of my parking spot. Mom then drives it home in nothing but 4th gear, thank you Mom and Todd you are the shut (that is polite for the real word you are) Thank you Todd! So anyway I come home and Kat is here (she has just moved in lol) We all go to Ty kwan do with Sean and I change in the money that was collected for Alli and Ayden at a local gas station equaling close to $70! Thank you Bailey!
We all get home eat moms YUMMY dinner and then by the time my head hits the pillow I am out!
Today I woke up at 8 for our last day of CSAP late arrival. Go to school, and then head over to the East building for musical. It is coming along so well I cant wait to see it and show it off in all its glory. Plus the compliments I get on my ability to belt out my songs like Aretha Franklins long lost white sister is VERY flattering! After practice mom and I run to Cuthroat to colect the money from the already alomost sold out Ayden Braclets, equaling anouther $35 for Ayden. Maybe my idea is working after all. On Friday Emmy and I and Maybe Ayden will be going to the concert at the school to sell T-Shirts in Ayden's honor as I just found out the concert is in his honor and the other kids with Cancer. God I love living in a small town we are all so together for everything! Thank you Otty for all you have done for Ayden. If you are in Bailey on friday it is supposed to be the party of the year. $12 at the door to see two warp tour bands, Vices I Admire and The Photo Atlas! It should be a blast. At the high school at 7!
For now mom's pasta smells too good for words and I must go to see if Dinner is ready yet! Later!

Gosh I suck at this game!

So agian I am sorry for how long it has been! My life is begining to be SO busy! I have 5 weeks left of high school! (Gulp) and alot to do! We finally have roomates for the house finalized, it is Me, Nick, Paul (nicks BF) and Kat (My BF) We had an offical meeting about it last friday and made rules and set everything down, We began talking about moving dates (June 14th) and finalizing contract dates ( May 19th) and of course School starting (mine is not until Sept. 4th woot) So it was decided and we all are getting very pumped for what is yet to come!

Last week was dull, work school, work, school, musical, blah blah, blah =) Then came Thursday, supposed to be a good day! NOT! Kat and I woke up early to go eat at Cuthroat before school because we had late arrival that day for CSAP. (Seniors dont have to be at school until 9) So we ate and it looked like We were actually going to be to school early. I get there and begin pulling into my assigned spot (after the shooting for safety thay began assigning parking spots) but I guess I was not supposed to do that because as I begin the turn a big ol truck desides hey now would be a cool time to back up and BAM! Right into my baby! "Son of a B****!" I get out check out the damage and call mom who tells me I need to go get one of the cops out of the school and file an acciednt report, About then the girl that hit me begins begging me not to do this because , dun dun dun dun, she GOT HER LICENCE THE DAY BEFORE!!! Now I'm even more pissed! My car is financed and therefore in the state of Colorado it is Illigal for there to be ANYTHING wrong with it! If she isnt gonna pay for it who is? So I feel like a jerk but I go inside and file the report. On my way into the school my speech coach informs me that my partner is ineligable (fancy for failing) and cannot go to Nationals THE NEXT DAY! Now I'm really upset, here come the tears. By the end of first period I dont know weather to be so angry I can't stand strait or so upset I want to do nothing more then go into my pillow and cry sweet sweet tears. However by the end of the day my partner was good to go, and my mom had worked something out with the girls mom.

Friday came and with pride and excitment I got onto the bus with 16 other members of the team (the ones that qualified for nationals, if this seems like a big number remember our orignal team size is 75 people) We got on and headed to THE WESTIN! The school paid for AMAZING rooms in this hotel and then off to nationals. Although Brooke and I only made it three rounds befoe being knocked out we did get offered a $1000.00 scholarship to the school of our choice. That was beyond exciting.

Saturday night Mom and I drove to the amazing womens home who donated 200 Alliance 4 Ayden bracelets and got those! We are selling them for $3 each and all the profit goes to Ayden to help him fight his Leukemia. Then That night as mom was at a friends house I visited Alli, Ayden, and Anna who were all doing amazing. Ayden though was kind of moody. To cheer him up we played on the Kitchen floor with Jelly beans and when Alli decided this was not a good idea we began trying to make hoops into each others mouths with popcorn, And as it tends to do with two year olds it got kinda out of hand, we soon began a huge food fight and Ayden was laughing and kissing and we all had so much fun you would never guess he was sick. It was amazing, You are so strong Ayden I love you so much!

Sunday brought bright sunny skies and Football. Joh is playing flag football and it soon became cold and windy. That was over quickly though. But then after that as promised mom took me to find the PERFECT prom dress. We went to Davids Bridal and I must say it is PERFECT!!! I cant talk about it too much as I know Nick reads the blog and my dress MUST be a total suprise to him! Emmy said it looks amazing and mom loved it alot too. Anna crawled under it and laughed so I think she liked it. I LOVE it. It truly is THE PERFECT prom dress. I want to throw out there Alli thank you so much for giving some money for the dress! It is perfect and you SO did not have to do that! I love you Alli! Em thank you for going, I know maybe it wasnt in the plan but I am SO glad you were there, Mom thank you for the incredible dress, it is going to be a night to remember, I know it. I have to say though, as I was sitting at dinner, I looked at Anna and smiled, I know that I will blink and she will be 18 and we will be all together and still friends. And I'll go with her to help her find the PERFECT prom dress and I will smile and think of today, and then I couldn't help but think by then I might have a little girl who will crawl under her dress and laugh and we will know it is the PERECT dress and her night will be incredable too.

I have to say that even as I wrote opn one of my blogs on here, when everything in my life seemed to be going wrong, with Grandma being so sick and Ayden being so sick, I lost all faith and wondered Why God would ever do something so terrible, I have to say that in the last couple of days, I got it! I actually gained faith, Ayden is doing amazing and Grandma is back to outliving us all. Maybe that was the plan all along, to bring faith back into some lives and to make us apreciate the small things in life and never take ANYTHING for granted. I love you all so much and I must say okay I get it now.