Friends

So after a week of calm down time Nick and I have rediscovered our friendship! I never ever remembered how much i loved his friend side. the batman stuff is so much better when you take the time to sit and watch it and the other things are great too! I have also made anouther new friend her name is me. I refound myself the girl i like she works out and enjoys to cook becasue she is so proud of the end result and cleans up after everything. She is hard working and loves the fast pace life and most of all she loves the people around her. She does not yell (well she trys not to) and she does not kick and scream when she does not get her way. She is just cool as hell! I really like her and I ama so glad we met because it was like i knew her evil twin sister for so long I forgot that her angel side was there. Nick and i have come to terms that what ever happens happens. I want him to just be happy! he is the man I fell in love with again and i relized the other day the reason he stopped being that man was because of me. i hate that this had to happen this way but in my heart i believe we will find our way back to each other. For now we are having fun what normal 18 and 21 yr olds do. We are enjoying being togther and spending time togther but our space and individuality is not being comprimised. i really like that! We are Friends and that is where we started four years ago and now we will have to restart with it four years later! I actually went up to him the other day and said "Hi my name is Jacquie, I think your really cute! want to be friends." He laughed at me and said "Yes i would love that, Im nick!"

The list

So last night i had a very smart women tell me i was falling apart a little so i made a list... all the things i like about myself or dislike or love. the things i want to learn and goals for everyday. and u know what it is already working. Nick helped me cook last night. First we learned Scampi which i could not eat but nick said was superb but then he told me to cook the salmon! Guess what It was incredible!!! I did something right!!! then i woke up this morning and got out to the garage and nick taught me how o hit a punching bag and then we went for a jog type thing. we only have one working bike but i rode and nick jogged next to me and we laughed the whole time. He refused to power walk he say it made him look "heeey" lol anyway tonight i am going to cook a dinner all on my own so that when everyone gets home from work dinner is ready!! The list includes things like look in the mirror so long that i say i am pretty and believe it and talk to nick everynight until we fall asleep and thngs like that. and no we are not togther yet i have to find jacquie first and i never relized i did notknow her! i think i may end up liking her! weird huh

because you all need to know

i am going to make this quick as it is hard as hell to talk about and i am only posting it so i dont have to answer all the questions and everyone knows. Last night (monday) nick and I broke up. i am not putting reason in it for anyone that is between myself and nick and We are really trying to make the friendship work. I am in severe pain as is nick i am sure but for now this is the best for us both! there is hope in my head that says after enough time apart we will no doubt be back together. I love him with all of my heart and soul and always will but for now I am talking my mom and Daddys advice and being friends first...somewhere along the long time we have been together it seems to have become minimal. I would really apreciate no questions and as i said before nick has become a part of all of our family please noone be upset at him or me for any of this. Things will work out for the best. I just thought you all deserved to know this! I a going to sign off for a while to give myself time to find somethng worth writing about! I am working on being fine so please noone worry! Love you all and now you all know!
love you
jacquie

Wyoming!!!

So it is friday night and nick and i wanted to go and do something fun. So after we all went shopping at the loveland outlets we made a plan. the plan was to drive to wyoming just because we wanted to. So me and nick all pilled into the car and we drove to wyoming. As we crossed the border nick honked the horn for good luck and then we drove to the govenors house and to the wyoming capital and to this really pretty church. Finally we pointed the car back to evans and when we got to the state line i had nick pull over and take a picture not just any picture but me and jazzi being in two places at once! half of us was in wyoming and half of us was in Colorado. I know it sounds lame but it was a blast!! so here is to an awsome Friday night!

new years videos

Here are a couple of videos from new years. Nick was slightly intoxicated so please ignore his lanuage on the last video it is brief. The first video is of the men playing beer pong. Paul and Nick vs. Drew and Hongyee. Listen closly and watch the ball it will make you laugh. The second is Nicks Happy dance and it is soooo funny but again please dont mind his brief crude language it was soo funny not to share because of one word.


Drew lost his ego because of that game. it was sooo funny!



nick is so funny with his happy dance he does it when he gets a good tip but tonight he did it because it was funny and he beat drew and hongyee at beer pong!

Christmas with the other family

So on Monday night nick and i drove down to thorton to Visit with his grandparents and spend some time with them for christmas. We left the boys at the house and told them we would be back eventually. We got to the house at around 6:30 and we sat and exchanged gifts and talked for a long time and it was so nice. We bought Nicks grandmother a beautiful cross pendent and chain from pop and his grandpa a really nice necklace with a saint charm on it. They gave nick some money and i got my amazing chocolates! it was so nice to see them we turned in the night early but we still got to see them and it was just wonderful to sit around and talk and catch up with them for a little while.

Jazzi is Jazzi lol

Well it has now been a week since we got Jazz and I muct say what a week it has been. We took a trip to mom and Dad's house and she got to play with her new cousin Leai and was doing SO incredible with her potty training. She would wake Nick and I up at like two, and four and five o'clock in the morning but she was waking us up this was very very good! We came back on Tuesday night and when we headed to bed we did the normal with Jazmine we took her outside and let her pee and then we went to bed. Well Jazzi slept threw the night but I guess she did not want to wake her sleeping mommy and daddy because we woke up the next day at eight and had not been interupted in the sleeping so we thougt this must be really good. until I put my glasses on. There was a pile of poop and a pee stain and so she got her butt smacked and I calmed nick by telling him that she was a baby and that she would have her accidents. The day went by Jazzi did great. Next night the routine and a sleeping puppy. The next moring ANOUTHER MESS!!! I was getting irritated because she clearly knew she was doing wrong but I again calmed nick and we went about the day well I bet you can guess how this story ends it has now been a week since we got back from Bailey and I still wake up to this god awful smell and this morning it was on my letter Jacket! (Yeah yeah dont leave it on the floor) All in all Jazzi is such a great dog. She is so sweet and cuddly and is just a blast to play with. She knows Sit Lay and Shake perfect and is getting the hang of stay and come but is still thinking I am nuts when I go into Roll over lol. She is very smart she is just driving me nuts with this night time thing. i try waking up by alarm every couple hours in the night but i still get the mess!!! What is going on here???? help ANYONE!!!!

Thank you all

Hey guys I wanted to post it up really quick a big thank you to everyone who was there for me and who offered very kind words after Bruno passed. As you all know Bruno was my very best friend and will always be in my heart. Thank you to all of you people who even sent a kind email my way every ounce of support i got has helped. Especially thank you to My mom, without you here i dont know what I would have done and the phone calls and the emails and the everything you have done for me has really helped me get through this all. You staying the night here on Saturday was the best of all. falling asleep on your shoulder again made everything feel like it would be okay. To Nick who has held my hand and helped me and been there through all the crying and the bad dreams and the nights when I laid in bed crying and calling Brunos name while I slept. And last but not least to Katy, Kat and Riah who were there the second they could be and held my hand, brought me blizzards, made me eat and most of all made me smile. Thank you guys I love you so muchi have the best friends in the whole world. I am so happy that you told me it was okay to cry but is was not okay to cry alone. Thank you so very much for that you guys I love you and I could not ask for a better set of friends.
So to sum it all up On Saturday nick, sean Joh and I are going to petco in Aurora to look at the puppies from the rescue center to try to fillthe void in my heart. Bruno you will never be forgotten and Could NEVER be replaced I just need a new friend to snuggle with and spoil. plus lets face it I am SOOO not a cat person!
Thank you everyone for everything i love you all!
Jacquie

Thanksgiving!!

That was so nice! Thanksgiving came right in time I was getting to miss my family sooo much and then boom there was thanksgiving! Thankfulness was in my blood. The night before nick and I had stayed up all night Him cooking a chicken walnut salad me baking a cake. It was so perfect!!! So we got there at one o clock and nick was sent out for some last minute purchases. Then we ate and ate and ate it was so good! After we ate we cleaned and just hung out it was so great! Then Dessert came and Kona and I shared some delicious Cheese cake, butterscotch cake and a slice of my cake which i have named the Devils heaven cake. but the wonderful part was when I brought back another tradition and we played some board games. Imagine if was the game of the night. When I was young we used to play Cranium as a family and it was great. This year i am kind of in the habit of bringing back traditions so this one had to come too. We played to rounds all of which Sean Won and it was so fun! After all the fun of the games was The incredibles. Joh Joh and I cuddled up in the big lazy boy chair and Daddy and mom where on the couch and Pop was plopped in the other Chair and We watched the Incredibles. joh and I headed down to the basement to join nick in the movie veiwing of home Alone and then we did magic tricks and go fish and war it was a great night! I can not wait until this saturday when The Cookie baking tradition comes back into action! thanks to me! Hope to see you all at my place on Saturday! Love you all
Jacqs

Katys Bday

So Katys birthday has come and Went and so as her buddy I put myself in charge of making her birthday awesome! So anyway when her birthday rolled around I was a thru at work. (meaning I come in at 11 and work strait till 4) When I got off Kat and I headed out for a couple last minute gifs and then headed to the house. when we got home nick was already in the kitchen cooking the linguini and the sauce. We also had salad and garlic bread. It was so nice. We ate and then we opened gifts. Nick and I got her a new jornal and coloring set and a coloring book and a stuffed animal and a frog bracelet. No this is not a kid it is a 19 year old lol I know but i love her. Anyway then We watched V for Vendetta and then we had CAKE! Which I MADE!!! i didnt take any pictures of that cake but it was a two layer white cake with Cream cheese frosting decorated with faries. AND I MADE IT MYSELF!!! i was sooooo excited. The night ended at like 11 and Katy went home but thanfully i got a text the next day while i was in class thanking me and telling me it was a wonderful birthday! I love you bug! I hope it was a birthday to rememeber!!!

OMG MY HAIR!!!!!

So On Sunday after I did all the bloging and was going to sleep I looked at my hair while Nick was playing with it and relized how dry and unhappy my dead ends were making it. So to the bathroom I headed to trim off the dead ends, some VERY unhappy ten minutes later I walked out of the bathroom my hair in a ponytail balling! Nick grabbed me and asked "honey whats wrong?" I pulled my hair out of the pony. It was very Very clearly uneven. He looked at it and held back the laugh I know was on his lips and said its okay babe you can go to the stylist tomorrow after class and they can fix it. I started crying harder. They are goiong to have to cut it all off! I replied. He snickered a little but not to much and told me it was okay they would fix it and my hair would grow back. Well I did not relize how right i was. Monday after class I went to Cost cutters and there they cut off anouther inch of my hair. Total I lost three inches and my hair is sooooo short. I came home okay with it until that night. I was laying in bed and started crying. Nick asked what was wrong. I looked at him and said I let them cut off my only pretty thing. He smiled and held me tight and reassured me it was not my only pretty thing and that he thought my hair looked sexy and very cute. i still think it is too short but Nick is right it will grow back and at least it doesnt look bad it is just really short. All well live and learn. I learned not to cut my own hair EVER again!!!

The pics I promised

This is before We shopped


This is after we shopped


This is the picture of nick I was talking about Is he not adorible!!!

It beggining to look alot like Christmas

Yes yes I know it is only November but I dont give a hoot. Grandma and Grandad are coming tomorrow to see the house and I am so excited. So yesterday when I made $150.00 at work for a friday night!! (HELLS YEAH) I went with nick and paul out to walmart and we bought so much christmas stuff. Lights and light up trees and light up snow men and there are four of those (like how many room mates there are) and more lights and a "Santa Stop here" sign and just everything. So at midnight in the 29 degree weather (we have a thermometer attached to the side of the house so yes I know it was 29 degrees) we started hanging christmas lights. Isicles hang from the roof and colors light up the deck. Little christmas trees fill our yard glowing in all their glory and four little snowmen are chillign happily in the yard. (I will try to snap a picture tonight and post it for you all) It is incredible. At three AM we finished up and headed to the street to admire all of our work and happily we only ran into one broken connection solved by an extra extention cord. It was perfect. My first house on my first christmas on my own looks amazing. When we came inside Paul made some INCREDIBLE homemade hot chocolate and we all sat on the couch just lookign out the window. It was perfect. Thank you honey and Thank you paul. I never ever thought I would say it but Paul you are like the best roommate I could have ever asked for and thanks for that. You are becoming a great friend and I am happy to say we only "hate" each other a little and it goes away a little every day lol. Honey you are the best and i am so grateful to have you in my life. I have the best man ever to stand by my side. So Merry Christmas all and welcome to the Holiday season!

New smear is upon us

So the new smear of college is upon us and I have begun to select my classes. I had a blast with my classes this smear and I have decided that college is great. My new schedule will have me going and going and going. So far I have math 030, Martial arts, bowling, and 20th century world history. I am meeting with my advisor probably on friday and we will figure out how to work in English comp 122, western civ 1 and probably German 1. that is alot but i am so excited! I really am looking forward to my martial arts and Bowling class because it is the PE classes i need and they seem like fun. Plus Ill get all skinny for the summer in martial arts! The big thing is that in all of that I have to fit in my work schedule that runs around 30 hours a week also. Who would have guessed I had it in me. Nick thinks I am slightly crazy because I am doing so much next smear and I have to agree but i think it will be fun and that is what matters. As my 1st smear nears an end I am getting grades and so far I have An A in Student expirence and a B in Englisg comp 121 and an A in US history 2 I am so excited I have good grades GO ME!!! lol =) So anyway I am gonna go I have a test in US history next period. STUDY lol I should be fine. So yeah i will write later!
Jacqs

DADDY! its me!!! lol

okay so On Friday the schedules for work came out and low and behold nick and i both had monday tuesday and most of wednesday off and school had been called off for the elections so nick and i powwowed and decied it would be fun to drive up on monday sometime and suprise mom for her birthday!! so monday morning I got up and took a little money to the store I bought mom three new shirts and fuzzy socks and underwear nd in true Jacquie form framed three pictures for her to have. perfect so with gift and overnight bag in hand Nick and I ventured with Minnie moe to bailey. Well when we were driving throught Aspen park I remembered that mom should still be in ty kwon do so I told nick to pull off there and we would walk in and yeah!! Well my plan was destoyed when rocket was no where to be found so a discrete call to mom gave me all i needed to know they were at red lobster for her bday dinner and heading home. Cool so we headed home and as I was unlocking the door we heard dads truck coming down the road so without thinking we ran in and slammed the door not putting the lock box back on and ot re locking the door. Joh then sitting with dad in the truck spotted me. "Daddy someone is in our house" dad didnt see anything so told Joh he was crazy lol Well you know joh "no daddy really I saw somone in our house" So a panicked papa bear left joh in the truck with his cell and told him in worse case lock the doors and call 911. So dad comes in the door and with a big man i will kill anyone in my house that is not supposed to be voice and a heavy flashlight I might add gos "hello!!!!" we did nothing "HELLO!!!!" It was about that time i thought Dad might kill us if he came around the corner and saw us so we popped out of the kitchen and yelled hi daddy its us!!! So after h was not terrified and calmed to a oh its sissy face he was happy to see us. Sean came iin the next car getting home from work and the best part is he comes in th kitchen looks at nick and i walks out and thn comes stubbling back in and goes wait what are you guys doing here!!! lol I about died laughing. Then it was the moment we drove home for mom comes in the door and joh dragged her to the kitchen yelling i have a suprise for you!!! in comes mom smiling ear to ear you guys didnt have to drive all the way home. but we did so momm and i did what we do best and talked whil sean and nick "re unitd" did what they did best played video games. It was a great couple days and nick and I watched the election !!!!!! YES OBAMA!!!! We headed home both of us smiling and missing the family a little already! See you guys soon I love you all and HAPPPPPY 40th mom you dont look a day over 25! (except you have an 18 year old daughter yeah I am what ages you! lol but really i love you)

well well long time ago....in a town not so far away...=)

hey all wow it has been a while a long while lol. Well I guess just start from the last time we spoke, on friday i headed home for seans speech meet and at 1 am a tired sissy crawled into bed with a sleeping mommy and after an hour of neither of us being able to shut up the two closed their eyes and fell into never never dream land. the next morning came all too quicly wheen mom and i awoke to the smll of coffee and a very very annoying alarm clock. I crawled out of bd only to find mom's lovely animals had decided it would be best if they marked thir territory all over my clothes. SO frustrated sissy went shopping in moms closet. The meet was so great and i loved judging! the kids were all so great and it ended up being so hard to pick but i did and after seeing brooke and playing a game of pony and the awards and a hg to mama barth I headed off. that is back to my mommys bed were we spent anouther night in chit chat land loving every minute of it! It was incredible to gt to do that. I loved it mom thanks for sharing ur bed with me. Sunday we slept in ys ladis and gentlmen you heard it here first Sue mueller dared to sleep till 9 o clock on a sunday morning!!! dun dun dun! she needed it though so i dared not to wake her and i slept in too. At noon we headed to mels baby shower. it was a blast we played games and ate incredible food and i presented little baby boy with a hand made blanket. YAH ME!!! So sunday ended with my daddy coming home!!! Well due to this it was back to the couch for me. I didnt mind it was great to see dad and mom and i had two nights of girly time. Monday I awoke to Sean saying opps I missed the bus and after some simple persuassion (i didnt want to wake up to take him) mom let sean ditch school and have a sissy sean day. We wnt to town and saw a really good movie and ended the night with ...um...political campaining. =) we had a blast and it was wonderful to spend a whole day with my lil bro!!! Tuesday brought anouther observation day and so off to PCHS I went and i got to spend some one on one time with my mentor mr. miller and it was so great!!! Wednesday was my last day at home and so a sad sissy set off on her two hour journey to Greeley to head home sweet home.
Thursday brought work as did friday and after work on friday me and nick and kat and paul and tabby and percilla and liz and hannah and drew and well lets just say a bunch of people from work headed over to the only place open when we all get off work on a friday night... Old Chicago. We ate some wings and played pool until like 2 in the morning and it was a blast hanging out with friend and dancing and just being in college. it was great. and at 2:30 am a very sleepy sissy curled up next to her honey and fell fast asleep in his arms. Saturday we had a freeze storm and everythiing was soooooo cold but work must go on so by 4 me and nick and kat were back in our aprons to head to work. I was starting to get the applified verson of what i thought was just something ba i ate but i went to work and was able to shak of my nausa. Sunday i woke up bright and early headed to work only to find I still felt like crap and it was getting worse. I had two tables that morning and one of them was just th sweetest. It was the grandmas 75th birthday and next week her and her husband would celebrate 50 years marriage. sothey invited to red lobster to celebrate their daughter their son in law and there two granddaughters one of which was marrid so hr hubby was there too. Whn I brought the drinks to the table i saw the grandmother sitting with a card in her hand balling, i assumed it was all th emotions of all the events being celebrated today until i saw the mom also crying her eyes out the mom turned to me and said, "I am gonna be a grandma!" and the grandma through her tears sqeezd out "Im gonna be a great grandma" I cant explain the feelings that rushed through my body but i was honored to be a part of this families life even for a moment in the memory. They ended up giviing me a peice of cake and a fourty dollar tip but the best part was the huug i got from the grandma now great grandma as she left the resturant and she whispred into my ear, "Im so happy for the fact that we had a waitress like you to share this with" It was so sweet I hugged her and went into the back were i cryed for the whole thing i think i got swept up in the moment but whatever i will never forget this family and hope to see them again soon.
Finally Monday today monday I went to class and on the way home decided for the sake of being causious I would make a dr appointment to see why i was sick. I went to the doctor where they ran tests and an ultra sound and before anyone freaks NO I AM NOT HAVING A BABY! I have better news from the doctor...I have a stomach ulsar! they put me on a specail diet and i have to be on it for two weeks if it does not get better I have to go back for medication. weeeee! Well anyway so after that i went to the store and got all the stuff i am allowed to eat for the next two weeks and then after Kat got off work WE CARVED PUMPKINNS!!! Yeah! Well tomorrow I am going in to early vote and then i dont know but whatever for now I am going to bed. So a very tired sissy is going to bed to lay next to her hony cuddle up with him and slip into dream land. Night all
love you
J

Time to just chill

Well once a week a blessed day comes and it is the best day because it is my day. All I have to do on this particular day is go to school. I am done with that at noon. On this day I come home around 12:30 and just relax. I watch Days and maybe clean the house a little, eat and read my book. Then I do WHATVER It is my day and my favorite day of the week. No work, just me, my book, and One Tree Hill! That day is...Monday!! lol I know it sounds so crazy but I love mondays. I long ago decided that I had to have one day a week that was for studying and homework and down time and then One Tree Hill started again and it was on mondays, hence mondays became my day. I love it. There is nothing that I have to do, and nothing that I dont want to do, do I do. Today was a great day and I thought I would share how much I love, yes mondays! lol
On anouther note Joh Joh is coming up for Sissy and Joh weekend this weekend and I so can not wait. A I have a whole weekend off and B I get to spend that weekend with my yo. Big yeah! I will make sure to post some pics from the weekend, I have bigs plans. On Friday AIMS is doing a free movie night showing Wall-e before it even comes out on DVD so we are going to that. Then Saturday is chill out day probably some park time and some chilling together. Sunday I bought two tickets to go to the AIMS fundraisr at Eliches so we are going to that for the day!! Very excited Bubah I can not wait!
Oh yeah one last happy note I FOUND MY CELL CHARGER!!! Anyone who want to can now text me or call me on it it is woking again! Yeah sissy!
Okay well I am going to go and challenge Nick to a game of Road Rage on the X-box because I can and he likes to play vido games with his honey... lol I know Im a dork but you love me!

September 27th two years down a life time to go

On septemeber 27th I woke up, that was step one. September 27th as everyone knows is very close to me and it being the two year aniversary was hard. I had a day planned of things and to be honest the best part of that was that was if I didnt stop going I didnt have to think about what day it was and maybe just maybe I could get through it without crying. That was a lost idea. As I was getting dressed to go to the St. Judes fair at chilis I decided that In honor of the day I was going to wear my PCHS Seniors shirt. It was fitting. As I looked at myself in the mirror I started it, I got a littl teared up but I was late so I grabbed sunglasses to make sure noone would see me cry at work. I must admit I did cry almost all the way to work. However when I got there I felt better and my friends at work were so sweet. They all kept me laughing and soon I was fine. Nick joined me at the fair as a volenteer. We paintd faces played gmes listened to music all that fun stuff. It was a great day and a perfect lasst memory to have with my chilis Family. As it ended I jumped into Minnie and called mom it was detrmined that w would met at flat irons to head to CSU. When we got there Nick and I got our Team Ayden Shirts and we followed all of us to the campus. We were by far the biggest team there. I spent tim seeing Ayden and palying with him in ice fights and just talking. Ayden is an amazing talker for his age. I played with Anna and then the walk started. When I saww all the balloons lit up and Ayden so strong and incredible I cryed again. Nick grabbed my waist and let me cry. I cryed for Emily and the day but I cryed even more for the strenghth of all of these people and they are all so amazing and look at all these balloons. It was incredible. In the end I went home with my family and spent the night and next day in Bailey with Joh and Sean and it was perfect. I love when I get to go hom and be with them. I love you guys! I love you emily and We all miss you every day. I know some people may read this and think I should get over it but the pain of that day will live with me forever so I will cry a few tears every year on the 27th of September and that is allowed that is not dwelling on it tht is remembering it and giving it the respect it deserves.
I love you all

*I love u guys*

The brains of our body

So here is what i wanted to share. Never doubt the power of your body. Since I have moved up to Greeley I will admit I feel like I have not stopped going and going and going, I am the freakin Energizer Bunny of college. So Anyway I updated you on the what I have to dos on my last blog. well aparently my body is tired. I have to admit even with monday being my "down day" I still always have so much todo it barely counts. So about three days ago my body had had enough and decided to attack me with a cold. This cold took away my voice and my ability to want to go go go. However I had to so I did. Well the body wants me to stop so it says "Kick it up a notch" and yesterday I went to work where I was allowed to work for about an hour before my boss sent me home demanding I get my night shift covered and NOT come back until I at least had a voice. So my body won and I spent yesterday sleeping on my couch and thanks to Katy and Devon was force fed Soup and Juice. Thanks guys. So today I wake up and I still have no voice but I refused to waste my grandads tution money and made myself go to class and sit here listening to my professor. I have to sleep after my classes. So I wanted to throw it out there and say never ever ever underestamate your body. It will win eventually.

Having a really hard time

So i ahve to admit the last couple weeks have ben so hard for me and before anyone jumps on the gun no I am not here for a pitty party but i need to vent and this is my blog so if you dont want to hear me complain a little change blogs. Soryy but I have had a really hard time with it all. I have been feeling so left out. I have my friends and all but I started school and I work two jobs and when I am home I am so tired I cant do anything. What I would not give to see my mom at home talking to me while I do my homwork or have anyone here/awake when I get hom from school. I then find out that my brother is doing incredible. he is working two jobs pulling strait A's and kicking butt at Ty Kwan Do my mom tells me this all I figure okay he sounds busy its cool he hasnt told me anything but when I go to brag a little to Kat bout it she tells me she alrady knows h textd her to tell her. I know it sounds dumb but I realllllly cant explain how much I realllllllly miss sean. He is my brother and I love him so much and i didnt understand why he could pick up his phone to tell Kat but couldnt do the same to me. I find out he had someone at work tell him something vry hurtful but instead of telling me or asking my help he txt Kat to get help call me insane but I feel so replaced, i feel like because Kat got to spend some extra time with my family they are closer to her. I know I know it sounds dumb but again I need to vent and I wont do it on Nick anymore, he dosnt dserve it and he at this point does not know how to help.
I heard from my mom for the first time in ages today and not because she wanted to talk or missed me but because I dented her car a little and called to confess it to her. I keep up with my family via her blog and she doesnt keep that up much anymore. And I went on today and found out that my WHOLE family was a mere ten exits down I25 from me and had a family night but didnt even call me to see what I was doing and if I could make it. I feel so lft out like just because I dont live there anymore I dont get to be in the family anymore.
i guess I have had a bad week and it is only monday. I missed a meeting at Chilis and got written up, I fell in my bathroom and hit my eye and now have a beautiful black eye. I missed my alam this morning and slpt through class and I have like a zillion bills due like tomorrow. I may just be venting but I needed it.
Thnaks Jacquie