So i ahve to admit the last couple weeks have ben so hard for me and before anyone jumps on the gun no I am not here for a pitty party but i need to vent and this is my blog so if you dont want to hear me complain a little change blogs. Soryy but I have had a really hard time with it all. I have been feeling so left out. I have my friends and all but I started school and I work two jobs and when I am home I am so tired I cant do anything. What I would not give to see my mom at home talking to me while I do my homwork or have anyone here/awake when I get hom from school. I then find out that my brother is doing incredible. he is working two jobs pulling strait A's and kicking butt at Ty Kwan Do my mom tells me this all I figure okay he sounds busy its cool he hasnt told me anything but when I go to brag a little to Kat bout it she tells me she alrady knows h textd her to tell her. I know it sounds dumb but I realllllly cant explain how much I realllllllly miss sean. He is my brother and I love him so much and i didnt understand why he could pick up his phone to tell Kat but couldnt do the same to me. I find out he had someone at work tell him something vry hurtful but instead of telling me or asking my help he txt Kat to get help call me insane but I feel so replaced, i feel like because Kat got to spend some extra time with my family they are closer to her. I know I know it sounds dumb but again I need to vent and I wont do it on Nick anymore, he dosnt dserve it and he at this point does not know how to help.
I heard from my mom for the first time in ages today and not because she wanted to talk or missed me but because I dented her car a little and called to confess it to her. I keep up with my family via her blog and she doesnt keep that up much anymore. And I went on today and found out that my WHOLE family was a mere ten exits down I25 from me and had a family night but didnt even call me to see what I was doing and if I could make it. I feel so lft out like just because I dont live there anymore I dont get to be in the family anymore.
i guess I have had a bad week and it is only monday. I missed a meeting at Chilis and got written up, I fell in my bathroom and hit my eye and now have a beautiful black eye. I missed my alam this morning and slpt through class and I have like a zillion bills due like tomorrow. I may just be venting but I needed it.
Thnaks Jacquie
1 comment:
Oh my goodness, my dear daughter. It will be okay, do not feel disconnected. I would really like for you to talk to your doctor about the pills you are on b/c I am concerned about the mood swings you are having...for real.
You will always be a part of this family & I will remind you that I have tried to call you many mornings & it has been too early for you. Then my day continues to roll & I don't have time to pick up a phone again. No one does not love you & your brother is just not used to you loving him that much. : ) Remember that you have loved him more since you have been gone...make the effort to contact him & carry on good conversations. He is very easy to talk to. But your best bet is to text him. He usually will text back at work, but if he is busy...no go. Joh was crying last night b/c he misses you so much & is counting the days until your Walle excursion.
Please remember that even though my live in population has gone down I too am a busy lady. So if I don't take the time to call you it does not mean I am not thinking about you. Do not let the stress of it all cause you a breakdown, you are my daughter & I know you have it in you to be stronger than that. : ) Remember, the chaos is the key to success. lol!
It will all be okay & Nick loves you very much...obviously, lol, try not to be so hard on him when you are expressing how you are feeling. It will only cause him to be scared & run...JOKE!
Hang in there, be tough! I love you huge!
Mom
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