Light the night Walk 2009

hey guys I have been working my butt off to promote this Walk. Team Ayden is going to be bigger and better and just as amazing as ever this year! September 12, 2009 CU Boulder! Walk for Ayden and love the closeness! email me for any questions and watch this video for the reason why you should log onto www.lightthenight.org search team ayden and sign up to walk today!

HOLA!!!

I thought I would come back on and post anouther blog for a few reasons, A) to out do mom haha you are so loosing at this posting game B) to say YES it has only been two days since I wrote and C) to get back into the habit of writting more often. Monday was a monday I wanted to sleep I have been so tired latly. I went to school and then by 1st period I was throwing up. then agian right before 2nd and so after choir I decided to sign myself out of 3rd period and go home to sleep maybe then I would feel better. So I sign out and go out to my car. However I am supposedly not allowed to leave because my car decides "Hey I'm not gonna go into gear." So after a zillion tries I get angry, call mom and tell her to come and get me, the car is broken...Agian. So she comes down and looks at it and it is decided that the linking in my stick is broke and it is stuck. Mom calls Todd blah blah blah a few hours later we go to meet him at the school. It is then desided the car is stuck in 4th gear and the linking is broken. We get a couple of teachers mom and Todd as I hold in the klutch and push it out of my parking spot. Mom then drives it home in nothing but 4th gear, thank you Mom and Todd you are the shut (that is polite for the real word you are) Thank you Todd! So anyway I come home and Kat is here (she has just moved in lol) We all go to Ty kwan do with Sean and I change in the money that was collected for Alli and Ayden at a local gas station equaling close to $70! Thank you Bailey!
We all get home eat moms YUMMY dinner and then by the time my head hits the pillow I am out!
Today I woke up at 8 for our last day of CSAP late arrival. Go to school, and then head over to the East building for musical. It is coming along so well I cant wait to see it and show it off in all its glory. Plus the compliments I get on my ability to belt out my songs like Aretha Franklins long lost white sister is VERY flattering! After practice mom and I run to Cuthroat to colect the money from the already alomost sold out Ayden Braclets, equaling anouther $35 for Ayden. Maybe my idea is working after all. On Friday Emmy and I and Maybe Ayden will be going to the concert at the school to sell T-Shirts in Ayden's honor as I just found out the concert is in his honor and the other kids with Cancer. God I love living in a small town we are all so together for everything! Thank you Otty for all you have done for Ayden. If you are in Bailey on friday it is supposed to be the party of the year. $12 at the door to see two warp tour bands, Vices I Admire and The Photo Atlas! It should be a blast. At the high school at 7!
For now mom's pasta smells too good for words and I must go to see if Dinner is ready yet! Later!

Gosh I suck at this game!

So agian I am sorry for how long it has been! My life is begining to be SO busy! I have 5 weeks left of high school! (Gulp) and alot to do! We finally have roomates for the house finalized, it is Me, Nick, Paul (nicks BF) and Kat (My BF) We had an offical meeting about it last friday and made rules and set everything down, We began talking about moving dates (June 14th) and finalizing contract dates ( May 19th) and of course School starting (mine is not until Sept. 4th woot) So it was decided and we all are getting very pumped for what is yet to come!

Last week was dull, work school, work, school, musical, blah blah, blah =) Then came Thursday, supposed to be a good day! NOT! Kat and I woke up early to go eat at Cuthroat before school because we had late arrival that day for CSAP. (Seniors dont have to be at school until 9) So we ate and it looked like We were actually going to be to school early. I get there and begin pulling into my assigned spot (after the shooting for safety thay began assigning parking spots) but I guess I was not supposed to do that because as I begin the turn a big ol truck desides hey now would be a cool time to back up and BAM! Right into my baby! "Son of a B****!" I get out check out the damage and call mom who tells me I need to go get one of the cops out of the school and file an acciednt report, About then the girl that hit me begins begging me not to do this because , dun dun dun dun, she GOT HER LICENCE THE DAY BEFORE!!! Now I'm even more pissed! My car is financed and therefore in the state of Colorado it is Illigal for there to be ANYTHING wrong with it! If she isnt gonna pay for it who is? So I feel like a jerk but I go inside and file the report. On my way into the school my speech coach informs me that my partner is ineligable (fancy for failing) and cannot go to Nationals THE NEXT DAY! Now I'm really upset, here come the tears. By the end of first period I dont know weather to be so angry I can't stand strait or so upset I want to do nothing more then go into my pillow and cry sweet sweet tears. However by the end of the day my partner was good to go, and my mom had worked something out with the girls mom.

Friday came and with pride and excitment I got onto the bus with 16 other members of the team (the ones that qualified for nationals, if this seems like a big number remember our orignal team size is 75 people) We got on and headed to THE WESTIN! The school paid for AMAZING rooms in this hotel and then off to nationals. Although Brooke and I only made it three rounds befoe being knocked out we did get offered a $1000.00 scholarship to the school of our choice. That was beyond exciting.

Saturday night Mom and I drove to the amazing womens home who donated 200 Alliance 4 Ayden bracelets and got those! We are selling them for $3 each and all the profit goes to Ayden to help him fight his Leukemia. Then That night as mom was at a friends house I visited Alli, Ayden, and Anna who were all doing amazing. Ayden though was kind of moody. To cheer him up we played on the Kitchen floor with Jelly beans and when Alli decided this was not a good idea we began trying to make hoops into each others mouths with popcorn, And as it tends to do with two year olds it got kinda out of hand, we soon began a huge food fight and Ayden was laughing and kissing and we all had so much fun you would never guess he was sick. It was amazing, You are so strong Ayden I love you so much!

Sunday brought bright sunny skies and Football. Joh is playing flag football and it soon became cold and windy. That was over quickly though. But then after that as promised mom took me to find the PERFECT prom dress. We went to Davids Bridal and I must say it is PERFECT!!! I cant talk about it too much as I know Nick reads the blog and my dress MUST be a total suprise to him! Emmy said it looks amazing and mom loved it alot too. Anna crawled under it and laughed so I think she liked it. I LOVE it. It truly is THE PERFECT prom dress. I want to throw out there Alli thank you so much for giving some money for the dress! It is perfect and you SO did not have to do that! I love you Alli! Em thank you for going, I know maybe it wasnt in the plan but I am SO glad you were there, Mom thank you for the incredible dress, it is going to be a night to remember, I know it. I have to say though, as I was sitting at dinner, I looked at Anna and smiled, I know that I will blink and she will be 18 and we will be all together and still friends. And I'll go with her to help her find the PERFECT prom dress and I will smile and think of today, and then I couldn't help but think by then I might have a little girl who will crawl under her dress and laugh and we will know it is the PERECT dress and her night will be incredable too.

I have to say that even as I wrote opn one of my blogs on here, when everything in my life seemed to be going wrong, with Grandma being so sick and Ayden being so sick, I lost all faith and wondered Why God would ever do something so terrible, I have to say that in the last couple of days, I got it! I actually gained faith, Ayden is doing amazing and Grandma is back to outliving us all. Maybe that was the plan all along, to bring faith back into some lives and to make us apreciate the small things in life and never take ANYTHING for granted. I love you all so much and I must say okay I get it now.

9 weeks and counting

Hello all, Well the 3rd quarter of school is over and that means HOME STRETCH!!! I am now counting and I must say the days HAUNT MY DREAMS!! lol no serious I keep having dreams about walking and I go up to get my diploma and I look at my parents and they look ashamed and So i look around and everyone else is shocked and it is then that I look down and realize I am standing naked and my cap is the only thing on me. Or I dream that they unzip my gown right before walking and they tell me that my outfit is inapropriate and I can't have my diploma! Dreams like this are haunting me! However after wakingup screaming I realize I am graduating in 9 weeks! and that scares the Hell out of me just as much as walking without clothes (okay a little less but how bad is walking without clothes )

Life has been so hectic! Hence the non update since what the third?? All well. So Nick celebrated his 21st birthday yesterday and I could not be happier to say he is my baby. I am so proud of him and the man he is and has formed into over the last two years. I love you so much baby! Then on the 7thI went up to UNC for theature day at the campus. (speech team juniors and seniors only) So we went up and I did a workshop that included improv. (Thinking on the top of your head) and had A BLAST!!! But the fun continued until we went and saw the UNC producton of Caberat. It was WONDERFUL the actors did fantastic and I was delighted to see it! On the way back I fell between he bus seats which I had to ell because it made me laugh and my friends laugh but it also made me learn something...DONT play Peek'a'boo with Lindsey on a bus lol!

After the bus ride home I imidiatly jumped into Brute and headed toward work. Arriving right intime for our Friday night rush! WEE lol so happy! On Saturday I slept in and then headed to work agian. nothing really cool to report there. Sunday I went out with my friend Kat and we looked at houses (Kat is the 4th to the 4 homies moving into our house) So then Monday returned to life. Rehearsal (going well) and grades (going okay)

One last thing today I began a new Ayden fundraiser and if anyone is intrested in finding out more let me know! I am selling awareness bracelets and the proceeds all go to Ali and Ayden. Have a great night all. hope to be back soonbut I can't promise anyting! Mom is calling for dinner and the smell of tacos is telling me I need to go upstairs now so TTFN Ta Ta For now!

-J

Got to love Colorado

Ah You have to love living in the great state of Colorado. On Friday morning I woke up to Angie Austin telling us that the forcast was BEAUTIFUL! That today it was supposed to be close to 70 degrees. I laughed and said yeah whatever. and got dressed. Then at 12:20 when I got out of school I had planned to go empty the trash from my car, however I walked out of the school and to my suprise I walked into 70 degree weather. I drove into Bailey and changed out three dollars and washed my car soap suds and all. After it was looking quite spiffy I went to the trash can to throw all the trash away and headed home. I ate and then called DCES asking for Joh to go into car pool today. After picking the boys up at the bus stop we headed over to the school. To Josh's dismay Jamming to "The Suessical" Broadway. lol I love it and need to learn it so he had to live. After this we headed to town all four of us jamming to anything at this point. Joh swaying to the music Josh sitting stairing out the window and sean just being sean. We drove Josh down to his Max and then Joh and Sean to Grandmas for the weekend. Nick met me down there and we went out to a movie and saw "Juno" which was fantasitic but had a sad ending that made me cry. Then we went to Dinner at the Macaroni Grill (Thank you my Brinker card) We headed back up the hill tired and ready for bed.

Saturday brought many things. On Saturday I woke up bright and early to anouther ABOVE 70 degrees day. I put on Jeans and a tank top and hair up in a pony ail and drove over to Emily and Alli's for a day of fun. I was greated by Tyler ready to go and Emily not so much ready. After about an hour of packing up babies and food and drinks and all the rest it was off to the Zoo. On the way there though Ayden chimmed in "Ow mommy, oww" Alli asking what it was he replied "My Tummy" Alli explained to me that the new Chemo Ayden was on mixed with his new steroids made his stomach very sick and very upset. She said that she thought getting him out might make it all better so we would see. Anna became my mini me that day as we walked through the Zoo wowwing every animal and the lions and tigers were amazing and my new favorite, unfortunitly Ayden had, had no change. As we stopped for Lunch and the Tropical Discovery Alli stayed with Ayden in the shade as Jacquie and Anna went to watch the Sea Lion Show. Laughing about the Sea lion and his nose to ball trick Anna was satisfied. Alli had to ask if we could go home as the Ayden that was full of smiles and giggles this morning had now become Ayden in alot of pain and very sick. Without hesitation we were in the car making our way back to bailey. Alli returned to her room to try and comfort Ayden, Emily went to the store for BBQ things and Jacquie and Anna decided to Suprise everyone with what Anna and Ayden call "Happy cakes" translation, cupcakes. We had a great time and Anna ate more batter and frosting then I did. At 9:30 a sleepy and sunburnt Jacquie turned her car towards her empty house.

Sunday morning brought ALOT of suprise when I opened the door to warm up my car and found a foot of fresh snow ontop of it. "huh, Sunburnt yesterday, and sweater iching today got to love colorado." As I turned to call my friend and let her know I would be a little late for our lunch date the phone rang with an Iris alert from the school, weather it was real or not is still up for debate but eather way they claimed school was closed already. I quickly began making my way down the hill I called Josh and Tracy and made the arrangments to get Josh at Colorado mills at 4, I had to work at 5 o'clock. however plans quickly changed in my head as the roads I was driving on were nothing but Ice and between the wind and the snow I could see nothing. The 45 minute drive to denver quickly became a hour and 45 minute drive. I got to Old Chicao though to see my friend Katy. She is a friend from Speech and I missed her so much, we had been trying to hang out all weekend and today we had finally got to see one and other. After lunch Nick and I made our way to Grandma's. Upon arrival I told mom of the call I had recieved and that I was getting josh and then we were going NO WHERE! Further research proved we did have school however it was not until 9 as we had delayed start. I went to get Josh and some small thigs for Nick and Grandma and we had a slumber party in the basement it was fantastic. As the sun rose this morning we were all up and ready to go and so me and Sean and Josh pilled back into what I have now decided will be name "The brute" mom will call her Ru but she is Brute. My car my name. Anyway as we steared toward home we hit the C-470 morning traffic, patiently we got through that. everything was going just fine until about Conifer as the van I had been following all the way up the hill lost its grip on the road and went into circles. The boys cringed as they waited for the van to be hit by the on coming traffic. I steared more terrified then I let on and we spun right onto the sholder. The miracle occured that noone was hit noone was ina ditch (although brute came VERY close) and noone was hurt just a shaken Sissy. After a moment of recovery time and catching my breath we went back onto the highway and got to school only 5 minutes late! We went about our Merry days and that has landed me here typing and typing and typing lol! well thats all for now. XOXO -J

Ayden

Alot has been going on in my life alot of down stuff things that make me want to go high in the sky and find out is god really there... are you sleeping...can you hear a damn word i am saying? I have begin to doubt happiness and if it exists and to tell the truth loosing all faith in happy endings. Most of you know about Ayden a very sweet loving little boy who is a close friend of my family and has cancer. Ayden was in Remission...His white blood cell count is down agian...Ayden is very close to falling out of remission. Agian... God can you even hear me...A two year old has cancer...two what the hell are you doing up there? I was so scared for Ayden until I saw him...At two he doesnt talk much nor understand what is happening around him or to him but at two, sick and on the edge of caos Ayden looks at me, runs to me and gives me a hug...Then a kiss on the cheek. He ran, he ran well kinda ran but he did it on his own, suddenly it hits me to have faith. As upset as I am with God right now for everything he has thrown not only my way but to the people who i love most dearly in my life I am not upset with Ayden...the wo year old with hope...my Guardian Angel!

He is still here but a simple hug...a simple walked on his own restored my faith my hope and belief. I thought i would share this as I relize I am not nearly the only one on this website let alone in this world who might be loosing faith with anything right now. Maybe you dont have faith in the "Big man upstairs'" plan but find someone or something to believe in and let it be your Gaurdian Angel...I know Ayden is now and will always be mine.

Thank you Ayden

I love you

Jacquie