Something that has been bothering me

So I was listening to the radio the other day and a commercial came on for 9/11 Help Day. At first I thoguht, "Well that's kind of cool you can help out and turn the bad day into good", but then I got to thinking. As the commercial continues it is people saying, "Today I will go up to a firefighter and say thank you." or "Today I will donate blood" stuff like that. That got me to thinking maybe 9/11 Help Day is well for lack of a better word Crap. Why does there have to be a tragedy for someone to care? I don't understand needing a special day to say thank you to someone who does their job 365 days a year not just on the anniversary of a tragedy. Please dont read this wrong and think I am saying 9/11 was not terrible, it was, but I just dont understand the concept of being a good person one day a year. Why is it people think they can just go about their lives everyday not really caring about the firefighters or donating blood, helping that older man across the street, ect. but if you do it ONE day a year you are a good person?? And you deserve a pat on the back for that?? That is like saying I spend my week stealing, lying and beating people up but I go to Church on Sunday so Im a Christain?!?!? WHAT! What has this world come to that we need reasons to do good? Don't get me wrong I am all for volenteering and joining together to remember a day, I myself do it once a year to make the day of my school shooting as positive as I can, however I also try to do those things when it is not the anniversary too! I just don't understand...mabe I am so off, maybe someone will read this and be so upset and explode at me but I just don't understand. Today do me a favor, while you are out in your world, out in your day, Do a Random Act of Kindness without a reason, without a purpose except to make that person happy, without expecting a pat on the back, Go tell a firefighter or police officer thank you...let me know if that feels better then doing it for the pat on the back or the reason. I feel like this world needs a change, Not this counrty, THIS WORLD! Lets be the change! Now I sound cheesy but hopefully my point is getting accross. Have a great Wednesday and God Bless all of the souls lost on 9/11 and any other tragedy, now go an respect those people with your actions EVERYDAY not just on the anniversary of their death.

Saying "I love you"

So I have been thinking about soemthing latly and I guess now with the blog up again this is the place to voice that. One of the guys i went to High School with recently lost his brother. I'm not sure what happened all i know is that he was the same age as my brother, and he passed away on August 9th. This post is not about him it is more about the after effect. I don't know if this is going to come out politically correct for that I appologize in advance. I want to know why people that "love" others so much come out of the wood work after so long or more then that people that really never knew someone come out and have all these emotions when someone is lost. It is like saying I saw you once in passing in the hallway and now Im devistated that you passed away. Is this coming out the way I want it to? Im not sure.

I guess what I am trying to say is at my funeral I hope I am surrounded by people who i knew when I was alive loved me and not a bunch of people who love me now that I am gone. Like when I die Ihope the person who bullied me in high school doesn't show up saying "Man I'm gonna miss her" Why do people hide behind tragedy? The other thought I had was, I wonder if all the people who are saying "I love you and I will miss you" now said it to the person when they were alive? Life is so short, just so short and it blows me away every day to know that you never will know the last time you will kiss your husband or hug your kids. It may be obsesive but I tell my husband I love you before I get off the phone with him, EVERY TIME! I tell my son I love you every chance I get if I love you, I really hope I show it to you. But do all people do that? i guess what I am trying to say in a, i'll be the first to admit it, not so gentle way is life is short and you shoudl hold the people you love close and tell them they matter. Leave the ones you didn't know well to grieve for the ones they held close and remember that every day, every hour, every minute and down to every second is precious. I Love you, I mean it and I say it...I Love You!

Light the night Walk 2009

hey guys I have been working my butt off to promote this Walk. Team Ayden is going to be bigger and better and just as amazing as ever this year! September 12, 2009 CU Boulder! Walk for Ayden and love the closeness! email me for any questions and watch this video for the reason why you should log onto www.lightthenight.org search team ayden and sign up to walk today!

Stop...Think...Love

i dont have much to report and even if I did it would be a boring blog all about me and although I know you all LOVE ;) to read about me! I thought instead I would share something with you. I heard a song today and I think I heard it before when I was younger but now it really speaks to me! I am going to post the video below really just stop your busy day for 5 minutes and play it. I think it is such a powerful song and I think if you all stop to listen to the words and the message it will have the same impact on you. i love you all. Enjoy!

Thank you all

Hey guys I wanted to post it up really quick a big thank you to everyone who was there for me and who offered very kind words after Bruno passed. As you all know Bruno was my very best friend and will always be in my heart. Thank you to all of you people who even sent a kind email my way every ounce of support i got has helped. Especially thank you to My mom, without you here i dont know what I would have done and the phone calls and the emails and the everything you have done for me has really helped me get through this all. You staying the night here on Saturday was the best of all. falling asleep on your shoulder again made everything feel like it would be okay. To Nick who has held my hand and helped me and been there through all the crying and the bad dreams and the nights when I laid in bed crying and calling Brunos name while I slept. And last but not least to Katy, Kat and Riah who were there the second they could be and held my hand, brought me blizzards, made me eat and most of all made me smile. Thank you guys I love you so muchi have the best friends in the whole world. I am so happy that you told me it was okay to cry but is was not okay to cry alone. Thank you so very much for that you guys I love you and I could not ask for a better set of friends.
So to sum it all up On Saturday nick, sean Joh and I are going to petco in Aurora to look at the puppies from the rescue center to try to fillthe void in my heart. Bruno you will never be forgotten and Could NEVER be replaced I just need a new friend to snuggle with and spoil. plus lets face it I am SOOO not a cat person!
Thank you everyone for everything i love you all!
Jacquie

Saying Good Bye to my Best Friend

Yesterday at 8:20 pm Bruno Mueller was put out of a very sudden very serious pain and joined the angels in heaven.
Bruno was my best friend and this is his story.
Bruno Galieth Mueller was born on December 2, 1999 on a freezing cold night on a freezing cold floor. He was the first born puppy to Missy & Caz Murphy and almost was taken that night. My mom warmed him up using a hot bag of water and made him eat from a baby bottle and much to our family's shock was given to my mom as a Christmas gift that year. Bruno took a liking to me and I fell in love with him and soon we became the best of friends. I will never forget when we were potty training him it was like Dec January area and so it was so snowy and I took him out on a lease to take him potty and I pulled a tree branch and all the snow caming tumbling down onto him he looked so funny and the game had begun. We spent the next hour playing in the snow and I knew right then he was to be my best friend. I was nine. As Bruno grew so did I i became one hundred pounds so did he. And we both kept growing. dont think that stopped us from sharing a bed! It did not! In December of 2006 We had to put down our collie Norm and Bruno was devistated. We slept next to each other crying togther morning Norm and missing him. Slowly we both felt better. Bruno would say he would never forget the first time he met Nick. His jelousy was unreal and he was so mad he didnt sleep with me for a whole twenty minutes...lol! Slowly Nick and Bruno became friends. When Grandma got sick I layed with Bruno for hours crying and it was then I made a deal with him that he simply HAD to let me go first because I did not know how i would handle any of this without him! In june of 2008 when I made the most diffucult transition of my life from girl to woman and moved out you bet that Bru moved out right next to me. Together we did it! The first night that we lived in Greeley it looked like the heat would make him return to Bailey. But no the next day he got a hair cut to remember and was fine. he loved his new life. And I loved him! On Saturday, December 6, 2008 at 8:20 pm Bruno left this earth after a terrible thing called "Bloat" attacked his body very suddenly. Within two hours of him telling me he was sick he had passed away. There was simply nothing we could do. I will be heart broken for a while and I cant seem to find the end of my tears but bru I love you with all my heart and soul and I miss you so much i hurt so much at the thought of never seeing you again. I love you baby and I know you are in a better place now but Who am i supposed to cuddle with now? Who am I supposed to go take to Santa? Who will i lay next to when I am sad and just need love? Bruno i love you and miss you! Thank you for being there and making my life as amazing as it was for the nine years that you blessed me with your friendship love and to be honest gave me the BEST friend I could ever ask for! i will see you again bru I know I will but until then I love you and please dont beat Normy up to bad! i know how you two loved to play rough!
Bruno mueller became my angel on a cold night and on anouther cold night he left me to fly with them!
Bruno mueller December 2, 1999 - December 6, 2008
I LOVE YOU FOREVER AND ALWAYS!!!

Why do I type?

Okay so I just sat down and typed I think four new blogs and talked about everything. i know that mom reads these but does anyone else? I really hope you all are and if you are leave a comment. Let me know you enjoy this so i have the desire to blog almost everyday! There is ALOT of new blogs so enjoy the reads!

Oh yeah to those people I got intreasted in the book... I am heading to that blaog when I finish here and I am going to try to write Chapter one. I know it took forever but good things come to those who wait.

love you
Jacqs

Feeling like I am in middle school

So Kat had a really rough day today she found out that a very close friend of hers passed away on saturday night and she was pretty devistated about it and despite all the diffrences we have been feeling toward each other latley she was crying and is my best friend so I sat with her as she read all the goodbyes on pine cam and left her alone for a little while. I called her up for dinner and she informed me that Katy would be over soon. We all went downstairs and instead of talking we decided that it would be better just to make her smile. So at first we were talking and jsut laughing well then I could not tell you what happened to make it start but Kat ran upstairs and Katy Steph and I chased her up with Pillows. The guys sitting on the couch paused there movie just to see four girls laughing hystraclly and hitting each other with pillows and then run downstairs. Before I knew it we had divided into teams. Me and Kat vs. Katy and Steph. We all laughed so hard and so much harder then i could ever describe on here but trust me we laughed and laughed and laughed. katy jumped onto the bed and I folowed her and Kat and Steph became the audience to full on wrestling match which quickly resaulted in me folded in half next to Kats bed feeling cramped so once they stopped laughing enough to get me out we switched teams. Katy and me Vs Kat and Steph. After a few Kat and Katy were sitting on the bed just laughing there butts off at me and steph going full force at each other laughing and smacking with the pillows. Laughing and laughing and laughing and even sad Kat was busting into tears laughing so hard. Kat has like ten pictures of it and when I get them from her i will put them up. We laughed and had a blast and before we knew it an hour had passed in pillow fighting world. Nick came down to make sure we were not dead because the girl squeelez and laughter had died down the most it had in like an hour and a half. We sat and talked for a little while longer but to be honest at the end of the night Kat went with Katy to spend the night at her place and I settled to type all of this but I do know one thing...Kat left this house with a smile on her face. I know that we can not take away the pain you are feeling right now honey but I know that we can ease it. Please remember I love you and there is always time in my day for a pillow fight to cheer you up! i had a blast and I cant remember the last time I laughed that hard and that long. I love you Kat and I know that Renie was smiling tonight watching you smile and laugh and be happy. be happy live your life, she is always with you


Rest in Peace Renie Thomas... You will be missed!

How low will they go???

A question on my mind I had to blog about it so that someday I can look back and say YES I PAID THAT FOR.....GAS!!!!! I filled up minnie moe yesterday for wait for it wait for it...$20.00 Yes I did and there is pictures to prove it (I know I sound so lame saying I took pictures of the gas station but hey I only paid $1.84 a gallon! That is really exciting stuff! So yeah lol I hope that you all can expirence the pure happiness this brings to my soul and hopefully yours when you get to pay $1.84 a gallon (yes mom for unleaded) okay well that is the blog on Gas.

A new kind of blog

hey all I have yet to decide how i am going to do this but I am going to create a second "blog" I really want to write a book and latley i have had all of these ideas for it so I think to start it up I am going to write a chapter per post on anouther blog. Jacquiesdeepthoughts will still be here but there will also be a link on my page to my book. I think it is going to happen i jaut feel all inspired and have ideas going through my head like crazy. If you want to know more write me on here and I will let you know the details. Like I said I dont know all the details yet but when I gt them worked out i will post it on here, Wish me luck
Jacquie

woot woot

So today I fought for America and fought for the right to live...I VOTED TODAY!!! I obviously voted for John Mccain...um...um...uh...if you believed that you are so dumb and know nothing about me. I of course voted for Barak Obama. I also got to fight for the amendements and I feel very strongly about one. The topic of 48: the abortion law. I voted no no no no on this law. I feel so strongly about womens rights to their own body. So I thought I would update and tell that I voted today and yeah me!!! Young voters get out there and please god...Let Obama WIN!!!

Missing my Mom

So I miss you, I really do I miss you so much, you are my best friend and it kills me to hav to do all of this without you. I know you and Daddy tryed to prepare us for this growing up thing but you forgot to teach us how not to miss you this much, how to do this without you. I was in class today and I was telling my classmates about how close we are and they were all jelous. i miss you so much mom! i am counting the days until Sunday to spend a whole day doing girl things with you and jus being us.
I love you
Jacqs

Really pretty song

my Ray Ray introduced me to this song and it gave me chills when I listened to it so I wantd to put it on here and dedicate it to my Daddy. I love you forever end ever daddy I miss you so much!

Time to just chill

Well once a week a blessed day comes and it is the best day because it is my day. All I have to do on this particular day is go to school. I am done with that at noon. On this day I come home around 12:30 and just relax. I watch Days and maybe clean the house a little, eat and read my book. Then I do WHATVER It is my day and my favorite day of the week. No work, just me, my book, and One Tree Hill! That day is...Monday!! lol I know it sounds so crazy but I love mondays. I long ago decided that I had to have one day a week that was for studying and homework and down time and then One Tree Hill started again and it was on mondays, hence mondays became my day. I love it. There is nothing that I have to do, and nothing that I dont want to do, do I do. Today was a great day and I thought I would share how much I love, yes mondays! lol
On anouther note Joh Joh is coming up for Sissy and Joh weekend this weekend and I so can not wait. A I have a whole weekend off and B I get to spend that weekend with my yo. Big yeah! I will make sure to post some pics from the weekend, I have bigs plans. On Friday AIMS is doing a free movie night showing Wall-e before it even comes out on DVD so we are going to that. Then Saturday is chill out day probably some park time and some chilling together. Sunday I bought two tickets to go to the AIMS fundraisr at Eliches so we are going to that for the day!! Very excited Bubah I can not wait!
Oh yeah one last happy note I FOUND MY CELL CHARGER!!! Anyone who want to can now text me or call me on it it is woking again! Yeah sissy!
Okay well I am going to go and challenge Nick to a game of Road Rage on the X-box because I can and he likes to play vido games with his honey... lol I know Im a dork but you love me!

September 27th two years down a life time to go

On septemeber 27th I woke up, that was step one. September 27th as everyone knows is very close to me and it being the two year aniversary was hard. I had a day planned of things and to be honest the best part of that was that was if I didnt stop going I didnt have to think about what day it was and maybe just maybe I could get through it without crying. That was a lost idea. As I was getting dressed to go to the St. Judes fair at chilis I decided that In honor of the day I was going to wear my PCHS Seniors shirt. It was fitting. As I looked at myself in the mirror I started it, I got a littl teared up but I was late so I grabbed sunglasses to make sure noone would see me cry at work. I must admit I did cry almost all the way to work. However when I got there I felt better and my friends at work were so sweet. They all kept me laughing and soon I was fine. Nick joined me at the fair as a volenteer. We paintd faces played gmes listened to music all that fun stuff. It was a great day and a perfect lasst memory to have with my chilis Family. As it ended I jumped into Minnie and called mom it was detrmined that w would met at flat irons to head to CSU. When we got there Nick and I got our Team Ayden Shirts and we followed all of us to the campus. We were by far the biggest team there. I spent tim seeing Ayden and palying with him in ice fights and just talking. Ayden is an amazing talker for his age. I played with Anna and then the walk started. When I saww all the balloons lit up and Ayden so strong and incredible I cryed again. Nick grabbed my waist and let me cry. I cryed for Emily and the day but I cryed even more for the strenghth of all of these people and they are all so amazing and look at all these balloons. It was incredible. In the end I went home with my family and spent the night and next day in Bailey with Joh and Sean and it was perfect. I love when I get to go hom and be with them. I love you guys! I love you emily and We all miss you every day. I know some people may read this and think I should get over it but the pain of that day will live with me forever so I will cry a few tears every year on the 27th of September and that is allowed that is not dwelling on it tht is remembering it and giving it the respect it deserves.
I love you all

*I love u guys*

Having a really hard time

So i ahve to admit the last couple weeks have ben so hard for me and before anyone jumps on the gun no I am not here for a pitty party but i need to vent and this is my blog so if you dont want to hear me complain a little change blogs. Soryy but I have had a really hard time with it all. I have been feeling so left out. I have my friends and all but I started school and I work two jobs and when I am home I am so tired I cant do anything. What I would not give to see my mom at home talking to me while I do my homwork or have anyone here/awake when I get hom from school. I then find out that my brother is doing incredible. he is working two jobs pulling strait A's and kicking butt at Ty Kwan Do my mom tells me this all I figure okay he sounds busy its cool he hasnt told me anything but when I go to brag a little to Kat bout it she tells me she alrady knows h textd her to tell her. I know it sounds dumb but I realllllly cant explain how much I realllllllly miss sean. He is my brother and I love him so much and i didnt understand why he could pick up his phone to tell Kat but couldnt do the same to me. I find out he had someone at work tell him something vry hurtful but instead of telling me or asking my help he txt Kat to get help call me insane but I feel so replaced, i feel like because Kat got to spend some extra time with my family they are closer to her. I know I know it sounds dumb but again I need to vent and I wont do it on Nick anymore, he dosnt dserve it and he at this point does not know how to help.
I heard from my mom for the first time in ages today and not because she wanted to talk or missed me but because I dented her car a little and called to confess it to her. I keep up with my family via her blog and she doesnt keep that up much anymore. And I went on today and found out that my WHOLE family was a mere ten exits down I25 from me and had a family night but didnt even call me to see what I was doing and if I could make it. I feel so lft out like just because I dont live there anymore I dont get to be in the family anymore.
i guess I have had a bad week and it is only monday. I missed a meeting at Chilis and got written up, I fell in my bathroom and hit my eye and now have a beautiful black eye. I missed my alam this morning and slpt through class and I have like a zillion bills due like tomorrow. I may just be venting but I needed it.
Thnaks Jacquie

Graduation... what?

The days are going by so fast that I dont know what to think. Part of me is so ancy and wants it over done with the end Im done with high School forever and ever and ever or at least until I am the teacher but even then I am personally done with high school. I have had such weird emotions. when I began packing tears flooded my eyes. I dont want to leave What if I cant do it what if I suck at college what if what if what if. The part of me that is not terrifed is sad. I dont want to leave my mommy she is my best friend the one I look to for advice the one I lean on when I am sad and the one that is there for me throug thick and thin. i love nick and i love Kat but they are not mom and she is my best friend. How will I handle going to my house and not seeing her after school. What about when I need to cry and I want to cuddle with her and girl talk until its all better. She is...well she is mom. I cant say enough to let her know how much I love her and miss her already. That part of me crys like every two seconds. I got my cap and gown tried it on, I cried. did my last choir concert the other night they dedicated a song to the seniors I cried. I keep going into this room that is no longer my room but my bed and my boxes but just a room. How am I to take that? I want to bad for the scared and the sad to go away so that I am back to overwelmed with happiness and excitment. Dont get me wrong that is definitly there too but I am so worried about the rest of it I dont have a second to be that happy. On the 18th through the 21st We are all looking at houses and picking one how do I make that feel like home? How do I get the warmth that is in this house into my house and get used to calling that home? How do I keep myself away from home long enough that I stop feeling homesick and start feeling at home? All this is rushing through my head. Then there is mom... I know somewhere in her she is hiding the fact that she is sad too and tinks about this all too. I love you so much mom you are and will always be my Best freinds and no matter what remember that I am okay and I will be GREAT! You made me that way and you gave me the tools taught me how to use them and I think it will all be okay! I love you so much and for right now I am going to be thinking and remembering that it is time to spread my wings like going down a roller coasters first hill the first time you do it you close your eyes and scream the whole way but the next time you open your eyes and scream and then finally you open your eyes all the way and laugh. I guess its time for me to open my eyes...now do I scream or laugh?

I'll never forget

So I am having a weird feeling day today, one of those days where my mind just keeps wandering and I can't think about things for too long or I will eather cry or laugh REALLY hard. I began thinking at work today, (because we were SO dead) about the things I will never forget ever.
I will never forget the day my mom met my Daddy, (no not my Birth father my daddy) I will never forget the day my mom told me she was pregnant and at the same rate the day she told me it was ANOUTHER boy. I will never forget the Christmas morning that mom asked me to be her maid of honor because I was her best Friend. I will NEVER forget the day Joh was born. I will never forget the look on everyones face when Sean showed the haircut I gave his the day before christmas. I will never forget meeting Nick and the day I relized I was in love with him. I will never forget the pain I felt watching him leave for college and the Joy I cannot expain when he finally came back. I will never forget the day he gave me my promise ring and asked me to be his forever. The look on his face, what the ring was in, where I was at the exact moment and what he was wearing on that day. I will never forget my first day at Anthony's and at the same rate I will never forget the day they gave me my promotion to assistant Manager. I will never forget the day I dressed up as Pebbles for the Grand opening and Begged Erik to dress up as my Bam Bam. (which he eventually did a little he wore a shirt) I will never forget the day I met Erik and we became Friends. I will never forget the last time I saw him before he went into the Air force. I will never forget Quiting Anthonys and my last day there. I will never forget when I met my second family and began creating friendships I will also never forget at my Job at Chilis. I will never forget my first day and the imidate Click I had with Roberto (lol love you Rob) I will never forget the French Fry War one very dead night at work. The first time my boss told me how Happy she was to have me and the first time I was asked to train for them. I will never forget the Disney world trip with my WHOLE family. I will never forget the day Brooke and I won our first BOE and the next one eather. I will never forget being given a scholarship. I will never forget The excitment of my first day of my Senior year and the sadness I felt at my last homecoming. Decorating the Suberban for hours so it looked perfect. I will never forget the day the doctor told grandma she was in Remission. And the day the doctor said the same about Ayden. I will never forget the Bake sale for Ayden and the kindness that filled Baileys hearts. I will never forget when someone handed my $300 for a plate of cookies and siad keep the change. or when anouther person got a plate of cookies and handed mom $500. I will never foget handing Ali that money. I will never forget any of it!
If this seems repetitive please know his has a point I swear. Although I will never forget any of that amazing stuff I also relized today life is not meant to be easy and for that reason....
I will never forget the night I saw my mom crying on the swingset in the backyard at the Littleton house after my father had beaten the hell out of her. I will never forget the look on Seans face when he crawled into bed with me at night because they were fighting agian. I will never forget hiding with mommy and daddy and sean for days after our father was served the divorce papers. I will never forget the day that my father turned his anger on me. I will never forget the cops and the papers and the confusion. I will never forget the look on his face the last time he saw me. I will never forget the look on Moms face the day she picked me and Sean up at Colorow Elm. The day of the Columbine Shooting. Most of all I will never forget the exact words said over the loud speaker the day m life turned upside down. I will never forget the people that were pushing intoa corner with me in the dark, or the look on my teachers face when Sherrif Wagner came in to get us out. I will never forget the snipers watching down the hallway while we ran down the stairs and into the wide open with our hands on our heads. I will never forget the feelings I felt when I found Josh and couldnt find Sean. I will never forget the thought going through my head what if I die today? I will never forget the anger I felt pulling up to a school full of reporters and just wanting to break their cameras. I will never forget the hatred I felt for my father that he dared to show up here. I will never forget the look on my mom and daddys fcae when they had all of there children at home safe. I will never forget when I found out it was Emily. I will never forget when they pronouced her passed. I will never forget how tight I held onto Nick when I saw him the next day. I will never forget the memorail. I will never foret the hurt in Nicks eyes and the pain he felt as we cryed together. I will never forget 9-27. I will never forgget the day mom got the Email from Emmy telling us that Ayden had Lukemia. I will never forget the night I came home from a speech meet to find out Grandma had Lung cancer. I will never forget the day we took what we thought would be our last family photo and the day I thought my grandma would never see me graduate. I will never forget any of it!
I guess the moral to this entry is Life is not meant to be easy. It is not meant to be fair. If it was people would win the lottery daily and never loose money in bets. People would never feel pain and never hurt. People would never say they had fallen on hard times. Life is what it is, take it for what it is and remember that the good things and the bad things in life are what make us the people we grow to be. I will never forget anything I wrote about tonight and I am NOT looking for pitty or sorries or anything of that sort I am looking for people to open their eyes and love what they have the good and the bad. A very wise women (you know who you are) has told me forever, "You can take the bad things in life and let them haunt you and keep them as bad or you can take them learn from them and become a better person because of them." I choose the second. I am living and with that I am learning... always.
Much love,
Jacquie

Gosh I suck at this game!

So agian I am sorry for how long it has been! My life is begining to be SO busy! I have 5 weeks left of high school! (Gulp) and alot to do! We finally have roomates for the house finalized, it is Me, Nick, Paul (nicks BF) and Kat (My BF) We had an offical meeting about it last friday and made rules and set everything down, We began talking about moving dates (June 14th) and finalizing contract dates ( May 19th) and of course School starting (mine is not until Sept. 4th woot) So it was decided and we all are getting very pumped for what is yet to come!

Last week was dull, work school, work, school, musical, blah blah, blah =) Then came Thursday, supposed to be a good day! NOT! Kat and I woke up early to go eat at Cuthroat before school because we had late arrival that day for CSAP. (Seniors dont have to be at school until 9) So we ate and it looked like We were actually going to be to school early. I get there and begin pulling into my assigned spot (after the shooting for safety thay began assigning parking spots) but I guess I was not supposed to do that because as I begin the turn a big ol truck desides hey now would be a cool time to back up and BAM! Right into my baby! "Son of a B****!" I get out check out the damage and call mom who tells me I need to go get one of the cops out of the school and file an acciednt report, About then the girl that hit me begins begging me not to do this because , dun dun dun dun, she GOT HER LICENCE THE DAY BEFORE!!! Now I'm even more pissed! My car is financed and therefore in the state of Colorado it is Illigal for there to be ANYTHING wrong with it! If she isnt gonna pay for it who is? So I feel like a jerk but I go inside and file the report. On my way into the school my speech coach informs me that my partner is ineligable (fancy for failing) and cannot go to Nationals THE NEXT DAY! Now I'm really upset, here come the tears. By the end of first period I dont know weather to be so angry I can't stand strait or so upset I want to do nothing more then go into my pillow and cry sweet sweet tears. However by the end of the day my partner was good to go, and my mom had worked something out with the girls mom.

Friday came and with pride and excitment I got onto the bus with 16 other members of the team (the ones that qualified for nationals, if this seems like a big number remember our orignal team size is 75 people) We got on and headed to THE WESTIN! The school paid for AMAZING rooms in this hotel and then off to nationals. Although Brooke and I only made it three rounds befoe being knocked out we did get offered a $1000.00 scholarship to the school of our choice. That was beyond exciting.

Saturday night Mom and I drove to the amazing womens home who donated 200 Alliance 4 Ayden bracelets and got those! We are selling them for $3 each and all the profit goes to Ayden to help him fight his Leukemia. Then That night as mom was at a friends house I visited Alli, Ayden, and Anna who were all doing amazing. Ayden though was kind of moody. To cheer him up we played on the Kitchen floor with Jelly beans and when Alli decided this was not a good idea we began trying to make hoops into each others mouths with popcorn, And as it tends to do with two year olds it got kinda out of hand, we soon began a huge food fight and Ayden was laughing and kissing and we all had so much fun you would never guess he was sick. It was amazing, You are so strong Ayden I love you so much!

Sunday brought bright sunny skies and Football. Joh is playing flag football and it soon became cold and windy. That was over quickly though. But then after that as promised mom took me to find the PERFECT prom dress. We went to Davids Bridal and I must say it is PERFECT!!! I cant talk about it too much as I know Nick reads the blog and my dress MUST be a total suprise to him! Emmy said it looks amazing and mom loved it alot too. Anna crawled under it and laughed so I think she liked it. I LOVE it. It truly is THE PERFECT prom dress. I want to throw out there Alli thank you so much for giving some money for the dress! It is perfect and you SO did not have to do that! I love you Alli! Em thank you for going, I know maybe it wasnt in the plan but I am SO glad you were there, Mom thank you for the incredible dress, it is going to be a night to remember, I know it. I have to say though, as I was sitting at dinner, I looked at Anna and smiled, I know that I will blink and she will be 18 and we will be all together and still friends. And I'll go with her to help her find the PERFECT prom dress and I will smile and think of today, and then I couldn't help but think by then I might have a little girl who will crawl under her dress and laugh and we will know it is the PERECT dress and her night will be incredable too.

I have to say that even as I wrote opn one of my blogs on here, when everything in my life seemed to be going wrong, with Grandma being so sick and Ayden being so sick, I lost all faith and wondered Why God would ever do something so terrible, I have to say that in the last couple of days, I got it! I actually gained faith, Ayden is doing amazing and Grandma is back to outliving us all. Maybe that was the plan all along, to bring faith back into some lives and to make us apreciate the small things in life and never take ANYTHING for granted. I love you all so much and I must say okay I get it now.

Life is a Highway

Well life is in the fast lane and this highway has no speed limit. Eather that or it has no cops to ticket it. The speech banquet was fantastic I double lettered and sean got his very first letter. We also presented our coach with Flowers a card and from all the seniors a picture frame with all of our signitures. We love our Mama Barth! After tearful hugs I said good bye to my last speech season. Sean and I enjoyed some cake and then grabbed our BOES to take them home where they belonged. After checking in on mom and dad and dad and I stragising we came up with a design for my catapult. It looked so lame but It was okay because it worked and it was turned in and even shot one whole meter! Arn't we impressed lol.

Yesterday was cool I chilled at school and then mom and I watched Days of Our Lives and after that I went to get my licence plates but not before State Trooper guy pulled me over for guess what...EXPIRED PLATES!!! Which I had to laugh at myself for. Mom has been sick and the car is in her name so I had to wait for her to get the plates. So i have been driving for a week with expired tags, not getting pulled over, not getting in trouble with state troopers and the time I am going down Crow hill to get the plates, on goes the lights! I had to laugh. We made our way to Park County sheriffs station, got the plates and in the mean time I regestered to vote. After this ordeal I head to work and have a fun filled night of chilis working! I do love the people I work with though. Elizabeth, Damon, Josh, Jen all of them I love it! I got my free dinner (as I was a trainer last night and will be agian tonight) came home and finished my physical science homework. Night night Sissy

Then today I woke up did my get pretty thing and went to school. We had a test in Goverment which was so easy and after all of the test Otteson taught us about Demented Annie.(Just better not to ask lol) We went to choir did our singing thing, went to physical science, found out my grade has gone up alot! I was very excited! I came home ate and now I am typing. Tonight I have to go to work and then tomorrow I want to sleep and oddly enough thanks to Otteson I really want to go to the Zoo tomorrow! Probably not happening but It is worth a dream. Well yeah

Just a quick note, love the people wo love you most with all your heart, be kind (Esp to police officers who want to give you a ticket but don't because you were so polite), love yourself and never be assamed of who you are. Take the ones in your life as a gift not for granted and at the same time expect the same of them. Life is too short! Life is a highway ride it all life long, and do yourself a favor...dont just take the next exit because that road looks less curvy, you will do nothing but bore yourself on that drive.