So I am having a weird feeling day today, one of those days where my mind just keeps wandering and I can't think about things for too long or I will eather cry or laugh REALLY hard. I began thinking at work today, (because we were SO dead) about the things I will never forget ever.
I will never forget the day my mom met my Daddy, (no not my Birth father my daddy) I will never forget the day my mom told me she was pregnant and at the same rate the day she told me it was ANOUTHER boy. I will never forget the Christmas morning that mom asked me to be her maid of honor because I was her best Friend. I will NEVER forget the day Joh was born. I will never forget the look on everyones face when Sean showed the haircut I gave his the day before christmas. I will never forget meeting Nick and the day I relized I was in love with him. I will never forget the pain I felt watching him leave for college and the Joy I cannot expain when he finally came back. I will never forget the day he gave me my promise ring and asked me to be his forever. The look on his face, what the ring was in, where I was at the exact moment and what he was wearing on that day. I will never forget my first day at Anthony's and at the same rate I will never forget the day they gave me my promotion to assistant Manager. I will never forget the day I dressed up as Pebbles for the Grand opening and Begged Erik to dress up as my Bam Bam. (which he eventually did a little he wore a shirt) I will never forget the day I met Erik and we became Friends. I will never forget the last time I saw him before he went into the Air force. I will never forget Quiting Anthonys and my last day there. I will never forget when I met my second family and began creating friendships I will also never forget at my Job at Chilis. I will never forget my first day and the imidate Click I had with Roberto (lol love you Rob) I will never forget the French Fry War one very dead night at work. The first time my boss told me how Happy she was to have me and the first time I was asked to train for them. I will never forget the Disney world trip with my WHOLE family. I will never forget the day Brooke and I won our first BOE and the next one eather. I will never forget being given a scholarship. I will never forget The excitment of my first day of my Senior year and the sadness I felt at my last homecoming. Decorating the Suberban for hours so it looked perfect. I will never forget the day the doctor told grandma she was in Remission. And the day the doctor said the same about Ayden. I will never forget the Bake sale for Ayden and the kindness that filled Baileys hearts. I will never forget when someone handed my $300 for a plate of cookies and siad keep the change. or when anouther person got a plate of cookies and handed mom $500. I will never foget handing Ali that money. I will never forget any of it!
If this seems repetitive please know his has a point I swear. Although I will never forget any of that amazing stuff I also relized today life is not meant to be easy and for that reason....
I will never forget the night I saw my mom crying on the swingset in the backyard at the Littleton house after my father had beaten the hell out of her. I will never forget the look on Seans face when he crawled into bed with me at night because they were fighting agian. I will never forget hiding with mommy and daddy and sean for days after our father was served the divorce papers. I will never forget the day that my father turned his anger on me. I will never forget the cops and the papers and the confusion. I will never forget the look on his face the last time he saw me. I will never forget the look on Moms face the day she picked me and Sean up at Colorow Elm. The day of the Columbine Shooting. Most of all I will never forget the exact words said over the loud speaker the day m life turned upside down. I will never forget the people that were pushing intoa corner with me in the dark, or the look on my teachers face when Sherrif Wagner came in to get us out. I will never forget the snipers watching down the hallway while we ran down the stairs and into the wide open with our hands on our heads. I will never forget the feelings I felt when I found Josh and couldnt find Sean. I will never forget the thought going through my head what if I die today? I will never forget the anger I felt pulling up to a school full of reporters and just wanting to break their cameras. I will never forget the hatred I felt for my father that he dared to show up here. I will never forget the look on my mom and daddys fcae when they had all of there children at home safe. I will never forget when I found out it was Emily. I will never forget when they pronouced her passed. I will never forget how tight I held onto Nick when I saw him the next day. I will never forget the memorail. I will never foret the hurt in Nicks eyes and the pain he felt as we cryed together. I will never forget 9-27. I will never forgget the day mom got the Email from Emmy telling us that Ayden had Lukemia. I will never forget the night I came home from a speech meet to find out Grandma had Lung cancer. I will never forget the day we took what we thought would be our last family photo and the day I thought my grandma would never see me graduate. I will never forget any of it!
I guess the moral to this entry is Life is not meant to be easy. It is not meant to be fair. If it was people would win the lottery daily and never loose money in bets. People would never feel pain and never hurt. People would never say they had fallen on hard times. Life is what it is, take it for what it is and remember that the good things and the bad things in life are what make us the people we grow to be. I will never forget anything I wrote about tonight and I am NOT looking for pitty or sorries or anything of that sort I am looking for people to open their eyes and love what they have the good and the bad. A very wise women (you know who you are) has told me forever, "You can take the bad things in life and let them haunt you and keep them as bad or you can take them learn from them and become a better person because of them." I choose the second. I am living and with that I am learning... always.
Much love,
Jacquie
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